Batting My Eyes At The World...

Updated

2005-04-01T20:20:00.002-05:00

Consider this updated.

Updated

2005-04-01T20:20:00.000-05:00

Consider this updated.

Back to the Kix...

2005-03-29T18:25:00.000-05:00

It just takes some time, Little Girl,
You're in the middle of the ride,
everything everything will be just fine,
everything everything will be alright, alright.

That's where is all started...a simple song with a simple meaning. Who knew that the song we were writing on our trip to Pittsburgh was going to get so deep and complex....

We heard a noise.
A bad noise.
A bad car noise.
A bad car noise from the car we were driving.

We called the owner.
"It's no big deal," he said. "She (the car) does that. Yeah, don't worry about it."
So, we didn't worry.

We were horses.
We were wrestlers.
We were "mommy" and "daddy".
We were tickle machines.
Dave was "him" and I was "Beffy."
Together, we were Spence and Britty's "toys" from early in the morning to later in the evening.
Together, we were two exhausted 20-year olds beat by a 3 and 5 year old.

**Intermission: We went to the University of Pittsburgh which was a lot of fun. We got to visit my friend Anthony/Tony from home which was very enjoyable. He took us into their Cathedral of Learning and into their Cathedral. Both places were amazing! Oh my goodness...so gorgeous. we also saw, what we thought to be, two drug-busts. There were police backups, frisking, handcuffs, and not-so-happy faces.**

We were lost.
We were lost a lot.
We were lost for about 1 hour trying to get to my Uncles house to pick up the (twin) girls.
We called.
We got lost.
We called again.
We got lost again.
We looked at the map.
We were confused.
We looked at the map again.
We found our way.

We ate dinner with the girls and watched the Notebook.
A couple of us cried while others of us kept quiet, and still of others of us laughed and couldn't understand why we were crying!
"Why are you crying?!" asked my Grandma. "I don't understand why you're crying. It's not sad. It's happy. Why are you crying?!" Over and over, "Why are you crying?! This is happy."
Oh, my dear Grandma...how I love her.

One the way back from dropping the girls off:
We put the car top down.
Correction:
We tried to put the car top down.
It got stuck.
Uh oh.
But the stars were out.
Good company was had.
And when I look back now, memories were made.

Grandma laughed.
Grandma laughed at us poor college students who couldn't get the top back up.
Grandma let us use her car to go meet my Uncle for church....

But....

We got lost.
We got lost good.
My Uncle came searching for us.
We were found!
We were not late to church...
Right on time!

Dave met a big chunk of my family.
Dave survived.

**Intermission II: Dave is a really polite guys....always willing to help people out and always shaking a person's hand when they first meet. Well, why my family was arriving, there was never a real opportune time to formally introduce him to anybody. But then...
Enter Grandma. "Everybody, this is Bethany's friend, Dave." Exit Grandma.
Then Dave went around and shook their hands. Oh Dave, such a polite guy.**

We were horses.
We were builders.
We were tickled machines.
We were wrestlers.
We were, once again, two 20-year olds beat by the same 3 and 5 year olds.

We were also egg hiders!

We were a magnet for car trouble...

We had to go get a new tire for the car.

Monday came.
We were hunters.
We were hunters for a new tire.
We were successful.
We hungry!
We were dissapointed...
The Original Pancake House isn't open on Mondays!
We were happy...
We got to eat yummy leftovers.

We left for school.

That's where it ended. It was a good weekend. A lot was learned about each other and a lot of new experiences were shared. All-in-all, if I had to sum up this weekend, I would say this...

We were just two fruit snack eating college kids who played all weekend with my fun little cousins and were friends to my teenage cousins. There were several challenges that were thrown our way and frustration definately developed, but we didn't let it get the best of us and we didn't let it ruin our weekend. I had fun. Dave had fun. My grandma had fun. Everybody had fun. What else can you ask for...

With all that said...

Back to the Kix...

Recycle Fat

2005-03-23T21:38:00.000-05:00

It is a good day.

I could stop there because as long as it's been a good day, what else do you really need to know? But to be completely honest, I would be cutting you short of something that could change your life if I stopped there. So let me continue...

I was preparing to go to dinner, and by preparing I mean, making me presentable and smelling nice after a good run (outside) with Phil. And it was at this point when my dear colleague came in to see if I was ready to go. You may remember my colleague...she is my partner is our "Save the Whales" and "Save a Squirrel" movements!

(http://bethanyplatt.blogspot.com/2005/01/save-whales.html)

At any rate...
I was just about finished getting ready when I realized that my lips were red! Now, I'm not talking about a natural red...my lips just seemed to pop! "I don't want red lips," I said, turning to my colleague in desperation. And her response, "Some people pay to have red lips..." The rest just isn't important.

I could not understand why people would pay to have red lips! But then again, people pay to have bigger butts! Why they do that, I will never understand. I mean goodness, if they really want a bigger butt, have some of mine! It's not all it's cracked up to be...trust me. But people pay to have one and there's nothing I can do to stop them. So because I can't stop them from paying for a larger butocks, I figured that I could help people who want to rid of it at the same time....

Liposuction....something I am sure all of you are familiar with. They cut a person and suck some of their fat out. Ok, that's fine and well (another thing I don't really understand the why part to.) but sometimes, people just have that done to insert the fat into a different part of their body! Why make more cuts than necessary?

Other people use a "fake fat" to make then look enhanced. But seriously, that's got to cost a lot of money to keep making "fake fat." So here's what my colleague and I propose....

For those of us who want to rid ourselves of our butt, we can do that but recycle the fat and use it in other people who want to have an enhanced butt (or whatever). We figure, it will be a way to save money because "fake fat" won't need to be made, and people won't need to have extra cuts in their body to get to the fat that they are going to move. It is just so logical when you really stop to think about it!

Now, I need to let you all know that everybody is beautiful and shouldn't enhance or
de-enhance their body in any way. But for those of you who haven't come to realize that quite yet, help us all out....

Reduce (the amount of "fake fat" and cuts)
Reuse (real fat that has already been removed)
Recycle!!

Have a great Easter everyone. Remember...Jesus loves you and so do I.

Forgiveness

2005-03-21T17:28:00.000-05:00

There are certain things in life that everybody knows:

- Use toilet paper when necessary
- Don’t call a girl fat.
- A brush is used for your hair…not your teeth.
- There are differences between girls and boys.
- Don’t get in a fight with somebody who is bigger than you.
- If you want to irk somebody, pick the smallest most insignificant action that you could pick and do it.

All of these things are important, but I think that the last one is the one that sticks out to me the most right now. I am in a tight situation….an unspeakable situation….but very present and known. And from experience, because I don’t want anybody to have to go through what I have this year, I would just say that if there is a situation between you and another person, try to fix it. Don’t try to “eb” each other on or do stupid things that are subtle yet speak really loud. Don’t let something slip away that someday you are going to regret letting go of. People are stupid at times and it’s really quite ridiculous, some of the levels that people stoop to. So before you depart for good….fix things and let God help.

On a completely different note…

I’m goin to Pittsburgh for Easter!!!

It gets better…

Dave is coming with me!!!!!!

I am totally stoked and cannot wait to leave for a long weekend. I have been wanting to go to Pittsburgh to just hang out, experience the city, and explore different places (when there’s hasn’t been snow!), so I am very excited to be able to do that. And Dave is just an amazing person to have around….too much fun….so I know there will not be a dull moment. I guess I get to learn about Pittsburgh a little more, grow closer to my grandma (we’re staying with her), and spend some time with Dave…sounds like a pretty rockin’ Easter.

And, you know, I just of this. This is Easter. This is when Jesus died for us….you and me….and rose again! He forgave us of all our sins. He took them from us, bore our pain, and suffered so that we could live with Him and have the time of our life up in Heaven. Pretty cool to think about.

If Jesus forgave us of our sins when He didn't even do anything wrong, don’t you think that we should be able to forgive each other….

Twitterpation..it has started.

2005-03-20T14:59:00.000-05:00

It’s amazing.

I woke up this morning feeling so much better; emotionally and physically. I know it’s because there have been so many people praying for me, and I am so appreciative of that. Granted, it’s not like I woke up with the feeling that everything is better and worked out, because there will definitely be times where I struggle with the whole relationship thing (or lack there of), but my spirits are up and I think I made it over the biggest hump.

I was talking with a friend last night, and I was a little hesitant to tell my situation with him just because he is a person who I look up to and respect. He’s one of those people you see as a man and who has everything figured out and is living his life according to God’s plan. Anyway…I was talking to him but feared that he would see me as an immature little girl who was just boy crazy. But he understood completely, and he said something that stuck with me. He said this:

"Every painful experience right now, is one less painful experience to go through until you are with that special person"

Think about that…it’s pretty cool.

I also watched some sappy movies last night. Maybe not the best idea, you say, but it was very good. We watched In Love and War which is a good movie…but they don’t end up together in the end! And then we watched My Best Friend’s Wedding, which, if you read my earlier Blog, you would know that it has meaning to my life right now. But it was good. In watching these women let go of their relationships, so I did. My guy will always be somebody who I care about, but I am not the person to make him happy and be the main woman in his life. So it was good.

And finally...

Spring is here which means that Twitterpation is everywhere!

I have seen a lot of people become twitterpated already, and it’s just the beginning. So if you fall, its ok, no worries. But in whatever happens, good or bad, trust God and know that He has a (romantic) plan for your life.

And so it goes.

2005-03-19T18:52:00.000-05:00

Isn’t it funny, the path that certain events take? I used to think that once a problem was out in the open, things would start to die down. There wouldn’t be that overlying presence of it, no mystery, no unspoken awkwardness; just a gradual sense that things were getting better. However, these things haven’t been taking place.

No matter where I turn, there is something that reminds me of my situation:
Boy liked girl. Girl realizes she likes boy. Boy finds new girl. New girl gets boy.

I have had awesome support from some of my friends because of this: Reminders that they are there for me. Hugs to let me know that they’re thinking of me. Simple stuff. And it has been really encouraging, making me realize, once again, how blessed I really am.

But there have also been some really low points which get the better of me and make me so down and out. Things haven’t been dieing out. The topic is still new and there remain to be people who confront me about it. My dad called to talk to me about it, actually, and I knew the conversation wasn’t going to be a good one. I knew that he was going to let me know what I did wrong and how I can’t like somebody who has a girlfriend now. I don’t want people to look down on me and be disappointed with me for decisions that I’ve made, but I especially don’t want my dad to be disappointed. Fortunately, after all the bad stuff was said, I told him what I did. I explained to him the different conversations that had taken place and how I’ve stepped back and let this boy be….and my dad said that I did the right thing and that he was proud of me. It’s funny…I cried when I heard the bad things, but I cried again, if not more, when he said that he was proud of me.

Last night I became aware that letting go and seeing the “new couple” around campus wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought. I couldn’t look at them when we were face to face….but then I found myself watching them in the distance, in hopes to watch them interact and see that they are really happy together. But it’s just so weird!

There were a group of us talking last night….a group that consisted of mutual friends between me and the “new couple”….and it just felt like if we were talking to the mutual friends, then the “new couple” couldn’t be there, and vice-versa. Why is that? If we’re all friends, why can’t we all hang with each other at the same time? I don’t know.

I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t know what to think.
I just don’t know.

I am emotionally drained and ready for things to get better. I miss my friend and being able to talk with him about all the little stupid things that happen during the day. I think that’s the hardest part….knowing that I lost the good friend status because things got complicated. Knowing that if I talk to him, I have to watch what I say, how I say it, and how people see it. Is it fair? No, but they always say that life’s not fair.

Done.

2005-03-17T11:38:00.000-05:00

When it's all said and done, I did the right thing, right?

My Best Friend's Wedding

2005-03-15T18:18:00.000-05:00

Spring break was amazing. Dani, David, Tony and I had an amazing time. So many good times were had and a lot of bonding was done. For every other break, I was ready to come back to school, but this time I could have stayed on break for forever....well, as long as we added a couple key people. But really, I was so content just living life up and enjoying the company of some crazy fun people.

But we're back at school now and reality has hit. I was expecting all the work but I wasn't expecting to be struggling with myself as well. I have been fighting my inner feelings and trying to stay strong because I can't let my emotions/feelings get the best of me once again. But why is that so hard?

Over spring break, I realized something that I should have realized a long time ago. But it's too late now and all I can do is watch and be the friend that I'm supposed to be....without feeling jealouos or full with regret. I told myself I could do it and I keep telling myself that over and over, but it's not working. I'm trying to change the way I look at certain people and situations in hopes that I will see those things from an angle that will turn my head the other way....away. But I can't.

I know it's hard to understand when I haven't given the whole scenario, but I thought of a movie that gives a good picture: My Best Friend's Wedding.

Jules (Julia Roberts) falls in love with her best friend, Michael. They had previously made a deal that if neither of them were married by the time they turned 30, they would marry each other. Well, one of them is turning 30 very shortly and Jules gets a phone call from Michael, hoping in the back of her mind that he called because of their deal. However, he calls to tell her that he's engaged. Michael wants Jules to fly down and be by his side while they finish the last minute things before their wedding...which is in 7 days. Jules ends up being the maid of honor and is forced to watch Michael and his fiance', Kimmie, be together. While Jules should be happy for him, she wants to break them up.

At the end of the movie, after she has successfully broken them up on the day of her wedding, she begins to feel bad and therefore, relays messages between the two. There is one point where Jules is talking with Michael in a gazeebo....ready to tell him that she loves him. Jules is vulnerable and has realized that she has loved Michael from the very beginning...she just didn't know how to show it. But she wants to show him and she wants to be with him so badly. On the verge of tears she says, "Choose me, Michael. Pick me." And then she kisses him. Long behold, Kimmie happens to be walking towards them at that same time and sees them kissing and of course, runs away. Michael chases Kimmie and Jules chases Michael...nobody chases Jules.

Michael loses track of Kimmie but goes to the place that he proposed to her...the train station. Jules goes up to him and appologizes. She loves this man so much and would do anything to have him back, but she losts him and she knows that now. Jules calls herself scum and Michael continues that and calls her mucas and whatnot. Needless to say, Kimmie and Michael end up getting married and Jules, as her wedding gift, gives them her and Michael's song until the newly-weds find one of their own. A few tears are shed as she watched the love of her life dance with his wife to their song.

So how does this relate? I'm Jules.
I made a mistake and have realized that, but it's too late. I haven't tried to ruin my friend's relationship, I haven't kissed him, and I don't know if he is the love of my life. But I do know that I want to cry everytime I think of what could have been and what I gave up because I pretended like I didn't need anybody. I want to ask for another chance. "Choose me. Pick me," I say in my head when I see him around campus. But I remember Jules and can't do anything because I don't want to hurt more people...especially my best friend.

People always tell me to stay strong, well, my strength is what made me lose.

Stay strong, yes, but not so strong that you close all of the doors before you've poked your head in to see what's actually there.

When You Say You Love Me.

2005-03-03T12:53:00.000-05:00

"When You Say You Love Me"
by Josh Groban

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

[bridge:]
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

How amazing is that song? My emotion overcomes me when I listen to it. It is so powerful and is exactly what I want.

i'm not a loser.

2005-03-01T18:42:00.000-05:00

Remember elementary school? Lunch was one of the few times that we got to leave our classroom where all subjects were taught. Everybody would have their lunchpales and walk to the caffeteria in a single-filed line, ending at a designated table for their class. Everyday this would happen. It was such a minor part of the day.

Or wait.
Was it?
Rewind.

Remember elementary school? Everybody would have their lunchpales and walk to the caffeteria in a single-filed line, ending at a designated table for thier class. Everyday this would happen. It was such a minor part of the day....except for that one kid who everybody made fun of. Maybe he was bigger than all the other kids, or didn't have fruit snacks, or maybe he sat at the end of the table all by himself, due to the fact that nobody ever gave him the time of day. Whatever the reason for their making fun, day after day, this kid would sit and take all of the laughing, pointing, snickering, and weird looks. Lunch was not a minor part of the day to this kid. To him, lunch was something that he dreaded and simply a chunk of time to highlight the fact that he wasn't like all the other kids and didn't have all that many friends.

Maybe you can't relate to this, but for me, I can. I was never a tiny girl like the others, I didn't have all of the cool lunch snacks, and just because I had kids on both sides of me doesn't mean that I didn't eat lunch by myself. I knew I was the joke of some of the boys and heard the endless criticism towards some of the other "uncool" kids. Nobody ever came out and said it, but I knew it...i was a loser.

Everytime I walk into Baldwin without someone with me, I think, "yup, i'm a loser," by why is that? So tonight as I walked into Baldwin by myself, I got to thinking...

Why is it that people make such a bad assumption about people when they see them eating by themselves? Think about it. There's no different between eating alone and watching tv alone. Is there? Here at IWU, the majority of the people you see eating in Baldwin are with other people, but if you go over to Wildcat, a majority of those people will be alone. However, being alone in Baldwin is perceived as something so much worse. It's the same thing, except in one situation you have more variety of food.

So this is what I think. I eat by myself, in Baldwin quite a bit, and usually I'm ok with that. Yeah, there are definately days where I walk in saying, "yup, i'm a loser," but I still go. I don't need people to eat with me in order to feel secure or have confidence. I don't need to pretend to be someone else so that I can fit in with a crowd in order to have people to eat with. So really, instead of looking at people who are eating alone and thinking, "what a loser. they must not have any friends," isn't it a better idea to think, "Cool. That person must have a good level of self esteme." I mean, hi, a majority of us are going to be eating my ourselves all the time once we graduate from college.

That kid who everybody made fun of at lunch...he's got it right. Out of the whole table, he was probably the coolest kid there because he had originality and wasn't afraid to be unique and show a little personality. I bet that if the other kids took an interest in him, he would be the "coolest" kid there. That kid and I...we're not losers...i'm not a loser.

An Awesomely Fun Weekend!

2005-02-28T00:59:00.000-05:00

If somebody were to ask you what college was all about, what would you say?

There is, of course, the logical answer: Learning and preparing yourself for your future job. But there is also the answer that is so much more interesting....

This weekend was the most fun I have had in the longest time. It all started on Friday night. If you haven't read my previous entry, I suggest that you do so...it'll give you an idea about how the weekend started! Craziness! But let us move onto Saturday...

I went to Indianapolis to see a play; A Woman Called Truth. It was a very good play and I was able to hang out with some people who I normally don't get a chance to. Good times had by all.
Once I got back, it was time for some extreme game-playing!!!

Nintendo 64, Baby!!! Oh yeah!!! I went over to Dave's room to play some Mario Cart and the longer we played, the more people that came! Pretty soon, there were 3 others; Becca, Phil, and Jonathan! It was so intense. One minute we would all be sitting down and then the next minute I would be all up in the TV trying to catch all the action. It was insane. I wish I could give you guys an idea, but I didn't even know how intense and awesomely fun it could be! We played a little Mario Tennis afterwards so that we could calm down. And you know what, that was fun too!!

Today was yet another fun day. It started at 3:00 when Dave and I started to build a puzzle. Yes, even puzzles can be fun when done with the right people. And then 5:00 rolled around and Stacie and Becca joined us until we all went to dinner. Boy Howdy....dinners in Baldwin can be pretty crazy sometimes. The conversations we come up with....

The night went on and Stacie and I made our own quiz! It is the most random quiz ever, but you are more than welcome to take it:
http://http://www.quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=9248

So then a few of us got together and watched the Italian Job and finished it right at 12:00. Good movie...not what I expected which is a good thing because it was a lot better!

What is college all about?
Having fun and just enjoying the company of others! Yes, schooling is important, but when there's a chance to let lose and relax a little...man, I wouldn't pass that up for anything!

5 more days till spring break!!!!

Humping, Kidnapping and Guns

2005-02-27T00:17:00.000-05:00

7 Bride for 7 Brothers. That's where it all started. There was a group of us who went and we were all able to sit together. It was a lot of fun going with them....one of the people we went with was the person who I've had my eye on this year....but it's fun to hang out with him recently because I can act like me...my quirky little self instead of the bashful little girl with a crush. Honestly, I love the fact that I can be in the same room as him and not be afraid to be myself anymore! It's a wonderful feeling.

But I know you guys don't care about that, so let me get on to the humping, kidnapping and guns

So a group of us got together to play some Turbo Cranium in the student center after the play. Girls vs. Guys. The guys did win, but that's ok. We were close behind. Anyway...

In playing any version of Cranium, you are always going to have crazy moments that are crazy intense. There was one point in the game where the guys were on a brain, so they had to pick a "Big card" from the green section (the acting stuff). With this "Big card" their goal was to guess as many things as they could....well, Phil was the actor and he did well. The girst thing that he acted out was "wedding proposal", and the second thing...haha....well....he started to hump in the middle of the student center!!! We died laughing!!! And of course he couldn't believe that he just did that. It was a riot. The guys got the answer right away: "Honeymoon." Oh my gosh...he's never gonna live that one down.

Our next adventure's supplies are as follows:
- Get-away van
- Black blanket
- Gun (fake)
- Parasol (fancy "umbrella")
- Old fashion ladies hat
- Candy Cane
- Blow-up shark
- 2 bandanas

The following report is the true account of what happened to a man by the name of Tony after a team of kidnappers hunted him down on 1 Friday night:

It was a dark and cloudy night when six students piled into an old blue van. They were figuring out the last minute details of their kidnapping before they went to take their hostage. After pulling up to the victims door, the two men took the blanket and went in to get the hostage. Just a few second later, they were seen busting out of the building. One of the guys held the guy up by his hands while the other guy had his feet. The van door slammed shut and only the squeeling of the van's tires could be heard as they sped away to drop the hostage off in the middle of a corn field.

There was a struggle in the van. Despite the fact that the kidnappers had a gun and were not afraid to use it, the hostage kicked and scream to be let go. But the harder he tried to get away, the more force that was put upon him.

After turning down a dark and secluded road with nothing but muddy corn fields, the hostage was led out to the middle of a field wearing a large white hat, holding a blow-up shark and parasol with a candy cane in his mouth.

There was a car that drove by very slowly. But the kidnapping team could not let that alter their plan. They had to stick with it. They would leave no one behind and were determined to make their mission a success.

But then all chaos broke loose....

When the team was finished puting the hostage in the field and turned to run back to the van, the hostage broke lose and ran to the van in hopes to not be left behind. Again, another struggle, but this time it was to keep the victim out of the van. Screams were heard, bruises were made and sharp words were said. But at last, do to an inevitable outcome, the kidnapping team let the hostage back into the van and drove to drop the hostage off.

Once dropped off, though, the team realized that the gun was missing. If their hostage called the police to report his kidnapping and the gun was found with their prints on it, they would lose their battle. So three of the team memebers drove a different car out to the site. On their way there, they passed 5 police cars. Were they looking for the blue van? Possibly, but fortunately, they were never stopped for questioning.

When they arrived at the site to find the gun, they walked up and down the corn field with their flashlights in hand and eyes fighting to stay open. It wasn't until they were walking back to the car when the guy said, "Well, that's never good," refering to the several bullet holes that were made in the railroad road sign next to the car. But nevertheless, the three of them continued to seach for the gun.

No gun was found.

There have been more seaches today, but no hints as to where the gun could be were found.

It remains a mystery.......(dum dum dummmmm)

Why?

2005-02-24T22:56:00.000-05:00

I felt a need to say this:
When you get to know somebody and begin to consider you guys as good friends, don't let go of that. Cherish the friendship and don't let something stop it from growing. And please, please, do not stop talking or interacting with the person.
Unfortunately, I feel like I've lost a friend who I was so excited about getting to know better....
Don't make the same mistake we did.

The One Who Shall Remain Nameless

2005-02-24T21:33:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day. I didn't have Theatre today, so I slept in until 10:30. It was beautiful! 9 1/2 hours of sleep in one night...that's more than I usually the amount I have in two nights! And let me tell ya...I had an amazing dream. It was one of those where everything was happening so perfectly...and then...I woke up. If only we could continue dreams where we left off....it's worth a shot!

Exciting news...I have been trying to hang out with a friend of mine for the past couple of weeks, but it never worked out! He would have an "emergency" run of some sort or I would get back too late. But tonight it worked out so we got to go on a nice sized walk. And oh my goodness...I learned a lot about him. But for his sake, he will be "The One Who Shall Remain Namless"
aka. TOWSRN

I don't know how we got on this conversation, but TOWSRN and I started to talk about his future. His priorities went as follows: God, Nation (Job), Family (Wife). You can imagine that I stopped him right there! A little later he said, "If somebody was holding my wife up with a gun as well as someone elses wife, I don't know who I would save." Whoa!! Again, I stopped him right there!

Now maybe I take the typical romantic stance on this, but here's the way I see it:
When you get married, they are your companion. Your one and only. Your other half. Your cookies for your milk. They are not someone to be put on hold when your job calls you.

I guess because I live at IWU, and hear everybody (yes, even the guys) talking about how they are going to have the best marriage ever and the man is going to treat the lady so wonderfully that I forget not all people have that focus. So I guess it was good to be reminded of that, but a bummer as well because it caused me to scratch yet another guy of the potential list....

haha....i'm just kidding....I don't have a list.

Well, one more day of this week and then it's the weekend! (Sings the Hallelujah chorus)
So enjoy your weekend and be sure to keep smiling....

You never know who might be falling in love with it!

Samwise the Brave

2005-02-23T23:58:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in forever, so I apologize to those people who check it on a regular basis...but thanks for checking anyway!

So there is so much I could talk about, but I'm just going to say that I survived Monday night/Tuesday and conquered my two hardest midterms. So I am pretty stoked and don't really have anything else until break.

Did you know that your initial attraction to someone is a chemical reaction based on the way they smell? Yup...it's true. It's scientifically proven. So really, when you're attracted to someone, it's because you like the way their sweat smells. Haha. And if there isn't anyone who is attracted to you, it's because you haven't found your right "smelling partner." No worries...we're doing an experiment about this, and I'll be sure to inform you of what we conclude.

My senior year in high school, I was one of the head editors. It is tradition to pick a movie and assign characters to each person, and being in my high position, I was able to have one of the main characters in the movie...our choice of movie was Lord Of The Rings. Good choice, 'eh? Well, I was given the character of Samwise Gamgee. I was pretty excited about that seeing as he was/is my favorite character in the trilogy.

Fast forward 2 years to today. I was giggling/laughing away with two great gals, working on my very own Spanish book of colors, when one of them mentioned the LOTR quiz: Which LOTR character are you? Needless to say, I took the quiz. And let me tell you, it wasn't one of these multiple choice scenario quizes...it was hard, moral, and ethical stuff! And you had to score according to a scale from 1-5. So I took the quiz, and my score is as follows:

Samwise: 100%
Gandalf: 81%
Aragorn: 69%
Frodo: 69%
Arwen: 63%
Eowyn: 56%
Pippin: 44%
Faramir: 13%
Gollum: 0%

Granted, I don't know who all of these characters are, but the point is that I got 100% Samwise. He is just the type of friend and person I want to be....dedicated, loyal, encouraging, etc. Uh...whenever I watch him and see what he does for Frodo...I cry. I really do. I would encourage you to take the quiz to find out which character you are:
http://quizfarm.com

So, I leave you with the great words of Samwise:
"There is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

180 Degree Turn x2

2005-02-18T10:40:00.000-05:00

Good week turned bad!
A couple nights ago I was angry at the world. It just hit me like a squirrel hits you with a nut...so that's a bad analogy, but the point is that I wasn't expecting it. I couldn't defeat it. Becca and I went to get some coffee to try and cool off, but all we did was vent and talk about how much we really wanted to kick someone in the shins...not good. People tried to help me and kept asking if they could do anything, but it only made things worse! After I answered and asked some very fun random questions of/to a friend, I decided to go to bed. My night had gotten better but I decided I should go to bed before I got hot tempered again.

Bad day turned good!
Yesterday was another rough day. But once the evening hit, it made another 18o degree turn...this time it was for the better! After getting all my studies done, I was able to relax and us girls got together...all of us...which hadn't happened in the longest time! It was so much fun. We laughed and talked and laughed. And we even talked about housing and were able to make a decision that everybody felt good about!

It gets even better, though. I couldn't fall asleep once I was laying in bed!!! You're probably asking why that's such a good thing...well, Kim and I had fun while laying in bed. More laughing and talking and laughing. We haven't done that in a while. The giggling that girls do at night is always the best kind!

It doesn't stop there! This morning I woke up with the sun shining and everybody in a good mood! And a group of us are leaving for the weekend to go to Kim's house which is going to be a lot of fun because we are all looking forward to getting off campus, and more importantly, spending quality time with each other.

So if you have a bad day and it looks like there is no end to it...if you're mad at the world and just want to disapear...hold on. Don't give up. You will find that through the help of God and friends, you will get through and experience the 180 degree turn. It's a beautiful thing.

TGIF!!!

Another Happy Day

2005-02-16T18:32:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have one of those weeks where you could be in low spirits, but for some reason, nothing seems to get you down? I've had one of those weeks so far. My computer has been causing me troubles, Spanish didn't go so well, and just other little things have happened. But through it all, I have been in a good mood and just been enjoying what I do have.

You know, so many times I question God as to why He hasn't given me something that I think I need. But He has given me so much! I go through weeks just realizing how blessed I am and appreciate the people in my life, the opportunities I'm given, and just other random stuff.

This week has been a good week in terms of getting to know people on a "real" level and I am so excited about it:

I had some fun times with Tony and Billy...they're (cartoon) characters!
I had some awesome laughs with Dave and some very informative conversations over dinner!
I had some real conversations with Brian about life, love, and happiness!
I met two new people/friends!
I have been able to get to know Jon and experience his funny/sarcastic side...he cracks me up!
I have been able to see my girls more than once this week...which was much needed!

I'm just happy. In Theatre, our group presented Happy Days and I played Winnie...one of two characters who does 99% of the talking, and as Winnie would put it, "Yes, today will have been another happy day."

More Left-overs

2005-02-14T01:34:00.000-05:00

Correction...
Not all of us girls feel like left-overs but a majority of us do.
Sorry if I offended anyone.

Left-overs

2005-02-13T18:14:00.000-05:00

Two things:

1. Only at IWU would the side-case display for our school store have the sweatshirts holding hands. Goodnes...like the whole idea of being with somebody isn't enforced on us enough!

2. We realized something tonight while talking about last night. My 4 girls and I are left-overs. If we wanted to make dinner for some of our guy friends we honestly think that they wouldn't come. They might say that they would, but something would inevitably come up to prevent them from actually coming. We are here for them when their other girlfriends aren't available. We might be good enough to hang out with for a week, but come the next week, we're just left-overs.

Walking on Water

2005-02-13T14:49:00.000-05:00

It's been a good weekend. It really has.

I was asked to help shoot a promotional video for the Collegian Church Group at Lakeview Wesleyan on Saturday which went very well. I was excited to be asked to help! Once I got back from that, I watched the end of Anne Of Green Gables: The Continuing Story. That is always a good way to put your mind at rest and just think about happiness and love. Eeee...so cute!

Shortly after the movie, it was time for dinner. Becca, Dani, and I wanted to go out for dinner...afterall, it's Valentines weekend. Just because we don't have dates doesn't mean we can't do something special! At any rate, there were about three guys who were going to go with us. We were excited. One of them bailed on us and didn't even tell us! We had to find out from his away message that he had already left to go do something esle. On top of that, another one of the guys told us that he might not be able to go. Now, look at the situation from the perspective of us three girls...we were fine with going to dinner with no guys at all...we are determined not to let Valentines get us down this year...but three guys told us that they were going to go and then they all started to leave us. We felt a little....well....like we weren't good enough to go out to dinner with. If you really want to get a girl, ditch her on Valentines. Anyway, two of the three guys ended up going and they made us girls feel really special. It was a lot of fun. They bought dinner for us and one of them even watched The Notebook with us!

I know that girls can be really hard on guys...I know that and I do feel bad about that. There are a lot of comments that are made as a generalization of guys as a whole, but there are a lot of really nice guys out there who really do make their girl friend (friends that are girls) feel extra special. So thank you to the two guys who took us out last night. It meant the world to us.

Finally (before I decide to discuss The Notebook...which would be nothing but mooshiness...), church was really good today. I go to Exit 59 and I really like the fact that we are going through the New Testament and then apply it to our lives according to what the scipture says...as opposed to picking a topic and then finding scripture to back it up. Anyway, today we went through Matthew 14...the chapter where Jesus feeds the 5,000 and Peter gets out of the boat and walks to Jesus (On water!!!). There were a lot of new things pointed out and I definitely learned a lot....

For example...when Jesus was done praying and walking out to the boat (On water!!!) where the disciples were waiting, there was a storm...meaning...the water wasn't calm. No way, there were waves and rough waters. The disciples were scared, and these guys didn't get scared too easily when on a boat...they were fishermen! So yeah...Jesus was walking on rough, wavey, dangerous waters. And then...this is awesome...but Peter gets out of the boat, obeys Jesus' command to walk towards him and starts to walk on the water too! Again...waves were crashing, the boat was rockin, craziness! But Peter had faith that he wouldn't sink and got out of the boat to walk towards Jesus. But then he started to sink and called out to Jesus. When they were in the boat, Jesus asked him why he lost his faith...now here's the thing that Heath (the guy preaching today) proposed...Peter didn't lose faith in Jesus because Jesus was still walking on the water...why would he lose faith in Him? No, he lost faith in himself. I wish I could summarazie the whole sermon, but basically, what it all comes down to is that not only do we have faith in Jesus, but Jesus has faith in us! How cool is that?! He has called us to be his disciples..and back then....the disciples were people who could be like Jesus. Jesus has faith that we can be like him. Peter didn't lose faith in Jesus, he lost faith in himself....he forgot that Jesus believed in him.

God is calling me and you to do amazing things....He has faith that we can do it! When we feel like God is calling us to do something, we don't not do it because we lose faith in Him, but because we don't think we can do it. But we can! How cool is that?! It was something that I never thought of before but something that really stuck out to me.

Also, just a fun thing to think about...when Peter climbed back into the boat, I bet he was high-five-in everybody else and just havin a party...I mean, I would be pretty stoked if I just walked on water...let alone with Jesus. Wouldn't you?

When a Man Sweet-Talks a Woman

2005-02-12T17:35:00.000-05:00

Emotions. They really are a crazy thing.

One minute you could be having the time of your life, but the next minute you could be as sad as could be.

One minute you could feel like you know nothing, but the next minute you could feel like ou know everything.

One minute you could feel like you're special to noone, but the next minute you could feel like your extra special to someone.

Emotions. They really are a crazy thing.

For me, I get all emotional when I focus on relationships. Friendships, family, significant others, pets....if there is a relationship, you can expect there to be some sort of emotion attached to it.

I like a guy who doesn't like me. Emotion Status: Sad.
A guy likes me who I don't like. Emotion Status: Flattered
A guy likes me who I am undecided about. Emotion Status: Excited.

Now, when a man sweet-talks a women, it changes everything. Let's take the guy who likes me who I am undecided about as an example:

I was never too interested in him but really enjoyed hanging out with him. Afterall, if I know somebody is a fun person, why wouldn't I want to hang out? Well, within a short amount of time, he started to show me and let me know that he thought I was special. Little things. Told me I was beaitful. Said that a sweatshirt and jeans are just what he needs (it's the "Frump Girl" line...works every time!). Lets me know that just talking to me for 15 minutes is the highlight of his day. He is totally sweet-talking and flattering me...and you know what, it's working. I'm not gonna lie...if he's trying to get me a little more interested in him....yup, definitely working.

Note: I am still extremely twitterpated with the guy who doesn't like me, but it's easier to accept the fact that nothing is going to happen when I feel like there is hope for me yet!

So the point of this blog:
Guys, if you are wondering how to show a girl that you care for her, start small. Tell her that she looks nice. Tell her that you enjoy hangin out with her and have fun. Talk to her!

Happy Valentines Day, everyone.
I hope it brings you the sweetest smiles.

"And the best of the three is Love"

2005-02-07T16:35:00.000-05:00

I have 1,000,010 different things that I could blog about right now. But as I was preparing to sit down and really think what I wanted to say, I couldn't think of anything all that important. I mean, I could write about how the Patriots won the Super Bowl once again (24-21), or how I was asked out on another date by a different person than before, or how last night I was questioning everything about myself, or even how much I love the fact that it's raining! But I stopped and opened my Bible to read and just spend time in the word.

I started in Hebrews because that's the book that I am going through right now. It talked about the new convenant and how Jesus loves us, and really, that is the only thing that really matters. It doesn't matter what else happens in my life. He will always be there for me and loving me each step of the way.

From there, I read 1 Corinthians 13. I do think that this is one of my favorite passages in the Bible just because it gives me a good picture of what love is...and to think that Jesus' love for us is greater than that is just amazing to think about. Also, right around this time of the year, the definition of love gets really distorted. It's all about the materialistic part of life. If a girl doesn't get flowers then she must not be loved. And if a guy doesn't get special cookies from his girl then she must not love him. But love isn't about any of that. It is so much more!

I don't want a love that is one of Valentines Day. I want one that is talked about in this passage, and because of that, am willing to wait...and wait...until the timing is right and God sends the right guy along.

I've put 1 Corinthians 13 below in hopes that it will speak to you as much as if spoke to me today. Trust in God and know that his love is all you need.

1 Corinthians 13 (msg.)
The Way of Love
1If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing.
3If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

4Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
5Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
6Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
7Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. 9We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. 10But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Pre-Game Show

2005-02-06T15:31:00.000-05:00

This is the Pre-Game show, done by me, with the help of a very good friend.

So stand on your feet and wave your hands in the air cuz it's time to share that:

We love the Patriots
To them we're true.
We love the Patriots
They're gonna stomp on you.

We like Brady, cuz he aint shady.
You think we're all talk, but we got Faulk.
Brady makes the pass,
Faulk tears up the grass.
Workin togetha, foreva and eva
Gonna make the goal,
Win the superbowl!

Go Patriots..
Go Patriots
Go, Go,
Go Patriots!

Let's get this party started ya'all!!! Sing it again!!!

"Man Passion"

2005-02-06T01:23:00.001-05:00

It's been an eventful last couple of day. FNL was last night and I got to tape it! It was amazing. I felt like I was actually part of a video production...I mean I was...but something real and worth while! It was so awesome. Finding different shots that you thought could be used, and then having your director/technical director say that they liked it a lot and then go to turn your camera on....oh man....I strived for that the whole night and loved it when I had an awesome shot like that. There's nothing like it!

I also met a new friend who I will be working with quite a bit...he's our new head male anchor for WC News. James is his name. For being a freshman, he is pretty cool. So I've hung out with him a fair amount the past few days...talkin', walkin', watchin' movies, makin' wal-mart trips...it's been fun. He has a lot of knowledge and experience in certain areas. It's quite impressive. James has been one of the first guys to persue me, and I'm not gonna lie, it's been quite nice...very flattering. It's been nice to have compliments from a guy and have him say that he enjoys seeing me. Every girl should have that. He asked me out on a date, you know. I was a little taken aback. That was the first time I have ever been asked out on an official date! He even used the word "date" in his question....none of this "do you want to hang out sometime?" So it was nice. Unfortunately, I didn't feel right is saying yes quite yet....as some people would put it....I have another "man passion" who I'm interested in.

I told James that because I have feelings for a different guy, despite the fact that I don't think he is interested in me, it's hard to forget about those feelings. Which leads me to my next thing:

Some of you may remember me explaining that I was really asking God for help in that whole department because I didn't want to have feelings for my "man passion" if it wasn't supposed to be. Well, I have had an answer to prayer...just in a different way. My feelings for my "man passion" are not gone, and I'm pretty sure that they won't be absent anytime soon (afterall, I've liked the same guy this whole year with no promises of a future), but they have definately come under control. I can go a day without talking to him and still have high spirits! And if he doesn't say hey or even see me, I don't take it as a bad sign and think that there's no hope for me!

I still don't know if there is ever supposed to be anything more than a friendship, but I know that even if there is, now is not the right time. And I'm Ok with that. A week ago I wouldn't have been. I was anxious and really wanted a companion, but now....I can wait, and proabably will wait until I get a definate "no" from my "man passion" or an answer from God about what is supposed to happen. But no matter what happens, just so long as I live God's plan for my life and listen to Him...and just so long as I'm happy, as well as my "man passion!" If there is a girl out there who rocks his world and isn't me...well, that is one lucky girl and I hope she realizes how fortunate she is.

With that said, I think I am going to climb into bed and rest my eyes. I need all my energy for tomorrow's big game!!! Patriots vs. Eagles!!!
Who's gonna win?
Need you ask...the Patriots!
So if you see me watchin the game, stand clear, cause chances are, I'll be so excited that you'll end up getting hit! (I randomly hit people when I get too excited!)
Go Patriots, Go!

Sleeping Beauty

2005-02-03T16:47:00.000-05:00

It's going to be a short one!

I just wanted to appologize for my last Blog. I have been thinking about these past couple of days, and I don't know why I wrote that. So if you read it, just disregard it, please.

Life.
Life has been good. Crazy but good. I don't feel like I've had any "me time" but instead, have been running around with my head chopped off...kinda like a chicken! But I can't complain. I'm enjoying it, learning a lot through it, and having fun. So as crazy as it is, I guess it's good craziness!

Bowling started last night. We did really well. I scored a 153 on my first game! That was the highest score on our team between the two games. Of course, my second game wasn't even close to that....89. Ouch! But that's what makes out team so great....we balance each other out. Our second game total was actually just a little higher than our first game. How cool is that?! So we're feelin pretty good about the season.

Tonight is going to be crazy. Between making cookies for President Barnes, going to watch the FNL opening, a WC News meeting, and a meeting to talk about Spring Hill...I'm booked!

Tomorrow night is FNL...you should all go. This one is going to bring a new experience for me because I am going to be taping/filming it. Camera 1, that's me. I'm really excited. Of course, that just makes for a crazy day tomorrow as well. After lunch I will be helping out with the set for "7 Brides for 7 Brothers"...our musical this year (which you should go to as well!)...unil 5, which will be followed by dinner and then off to FNL at 6 to watch the play-through, and then the final "diddy!"

Oh well.
I hope you are having an awesome week.
The sun is shining and I hope that you were able to enjoy it and just let it brighten up your day.
Some people say that all we need is love, but every once in a while I feel like all we need is a little sunshine! It has definitely been a blessing from God today!

Well, my time has run out, so now I must be running along to dinner. I am going to need that energy! I really do feel like Sleeping Beauty...only, a sleepwalking version of her. But in 6-7 hours, I will be the real thing!

Have a wonderful night and remember,
Keep smiling because you never know who may be falling in love with it.

Fat Cows Rock Until I'm a Thin Cow!

2005-02-02T01:18:00.000-05:00

"Fat Cows Rock Until I'm a Thin Cow!"

Yes, that has got to be the most profound thing of the night. OK, maybe not the most profound, but definitely a good quote. And believe it or not, when it was said, the discussion that occured afterwards did not have to do with our size, instead if had to do with guy friends. Allow me to explain...

Becca and I were doing our nightly crunches in the hallway, when her roomie came out and cheered, "Fat cows rock!!!" She came back and explained herself and how she wasn't calling us fat cows. I liked her quote so much that I said I was going to use it in my blog. Becca then said that if I put it as my title, there would definitely be comments from our guy friends. I agreed with her. You see, it doesn't matter what I write, guys will always comment and encourage me if I complain about my weight/size. That's really great of them. I really do appreciate it, but here's the thing...Why do the comments only come when I talk about that subject? Just an observation. But if I'm having a rough day, as a friend, encouragment would be nice...even if it's not pertaining to weight/size. Friends encourage each other in dealing with everything. I need to do it more, I know, so I'm not really one to make comments about it, but again...this is a blog and I'm all about obserations...

On a different note, Dani just came in to say goodnight. And we were talking about something and came to the conclusion that there is a double standard when dealing with guys and girls. One of my friends IM'd me just to say hi, and we were talking about the conversation when I made a comment. The comment made a double standard occur, but it was only there because of the differences between guys and girls. You see...I know you're probably lost right now, so I'm gonna try to clear it up...If a girl says hello to a guy, it's usually because she really wants to know how he is doing. Everybody has heard that girls are more relational than guys, that's nothing new. I know that when I IM somebody to see how they are doing or to just say "Hi", it's usually because I've thought about them throughout the day and really wanted to know about their day.

Guys, don't take offense to this next part....it's nothing personal and definitely doesn't apply to all guys....

When a guy IM's a girl or stops to say hey, I never really see it as anything special...just a guy being a nice guy and showing manners/gentlemen-ness. They can't do that! It messes with a girls head! When a guy says hey to us and wants to know about our day, we want to think that it's because they've thought about us and really do care for us. It's not our fault, it's just how God processed us. No granted, I don't want my guy buds to stop IMing me or talking to me...I understand that it's a friend thing. However, I'm not gonna lie, whenever a guy IM's me, I have an intial burst of excitement....and then, no worries, reality kicks in!

So those are my thoughts on that.
I do think guys are genuine friends, but as a girl, I have a quick instant where reality is absent.

With all that said...
I went climbing tonight with David. Had a lot of fun and did better than last time. David has improved so much! Go David. Plus, he's a great teacher, so if you're looking for some pointers, hit him up! And also, I am just always amazed at the talent and strength of some of the guys over there...like seriously...holy cow! To do some of the stuff that I saw them do tonight is beyond imaginable for me. Man alive!

Ok, it has been a crazy crazy day and so now I think it's time for me to climb into bed, close my little eyes, listen to my music and dream dreamful dreams.

I see the moon,
And the moon sees me,
And the moon sees somebody I'd like to see.
God bless the moon,
And God bless me,
And God bless the somebody I'd llike to see.

Mya-He. Mya-Ho. Mya-Ho. Mya-Ha-Ha.

2005-01-31T18:37:00.000-05:00

Today was a fun day. I'm not gonna lie.

I could stop there. But I think I want to tell you some of the highlights of my day.

Chapel really spoke to me today. The whole bottle analogy of how we tend to put God in our bottle and limit His power....totally true. I do need to remember that God can do far better things in my life than I could ever dream of! How awesome is it to think of that? I think it's pretty cool. And it goes along with the trusting issue too. I need to trust God more with all areas of my life, but I need to accept how powerful and mighty He is in order for me to trust Him completely. Needless to say, God, once again, taught me something today. I love it when that happens!

David was the next highlight of the day. Or I should say that a little instant message from him was the next big event! For those of you who don't know...my girls and I are on this pointless, silly, random, funny, ever so stupid short movie kick. They just go from one extreme to the next. So David sent me an excellent one today. Check it out...I will not do it justice in trying to explain it:

http://www.orapois.com/br/arquivos/01122005120941567g.swf

Now that you have hopefully listened to it, picture us girls singing it while eating dinner. We even did the arm-pumps once or twice! I think we scared Brian a little bit...sorry about that...but if he still sticks around despite our weird quirks, excellent!

Dinner in general was so much fun. Again. Today was a fun day.

Now rewind to late last night (early this morning).............

I met a new friend today. His name is Dave and he went climbing with Brian and David which is who I met him through. He is a pretty fun guy as far as I know. He IM'd me which was cool, so we got talking a few times throughout the night. He asked if he could read my Blog, and of course I was thrilled to say yes. Within a few short seconds, Dave asked if I really live in Vermont, and once I comfirmed it, he explained that he used to live in Vermont about 10 years ago. That may be a long time ago...but I was still excited. So, I'm sure I don't even need to explain how excited I was when I asked him what town he lived in and his response was, "I lived in a town outside of Burlington called Williston." No way!!! That's where I live. How cool is that? We were both pretty siked. You know how it is...us Vermonters have got to stick together...and more so...us Williston-ians need to watch each other's backs!

Flash Forward to the current time.......

Today has been a good day. I have to study some, but I have a feeling that it won't damper my day in the least bit!
Have a happy night!

Come What May

2005-01-30T18:33:00.000-05:00

Isn't it funny how one day can bring completely different thoughts than the previous day? As some of you know, I had written a pretty long entry last night but lost it. But today, what I wrote about yesterday isn't really on my mind or of any concern to me anymore. It's amazing what sleep can do.

Can I just say that I really enjoy the company of my girls. I have so much fun with them and I can't help but flash back to high school where girlfriends were not something I had. Granted, I loved hanging out with my group of guys (and Victoria), but girls are so much fun to have as friends...as long as it's a real relationship and not something fickle. This week has just been so much fun. We have had some crazy moments.

On Thursday night we were all pretty wired. We started to open the box of memories from last year which brought upon some pretty serious laughter. What did we do, you ask?

1. We discovered the sound/noise of a Llama.
2. We watched a purple hippo dance.
3. We ran down to our old room (a triple) and asked if we could borrow it one night for old times sakes.
4. We moshed in the hallway to no music!
5. We laughed.
6. We laughed.
7. We laughed so hard we squeeled.
8. We sang our theme song, "I Feel Pretty"
9. We learned how to sing "Squirrel" which I had written that day.
10. We innitiated Stacie (Jim) into our group.
11. We made jokes.
12. We remembered what it was like to be friends whose primary goal was to have fun with each other.
13. We went on a hunt for David.
14. We made a 1:30am run to "Shake 'n Bake."
15. We laughed.
16. We laughed.
17. We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt!
18. We made memories and had a blast doing it!

I forget how much fun having fun is sometimes. I really wish I could have more fun with more people and anticipate the day that it happens. But you know...having fun can come in so many different ways...

Having debates on silly topics like:
1. What does being productive really mean?
2. Is a cartoon really trying to emphasize a certain point?
3. Are the Patriots really the best team? (Yes, they are.)

Listening to love songs really loud while driving into Indianapolis:
With two bigger guys and me in the back seat, we drove into Indianapolis blaring the love songs from Mulin Rouge. It was great. I was singing and one of the guys was singing. The other guy was sitting there wondering what in the world was going on!

Making a double batch of cookies:
We made so many cookies that my room looked like one of those rooms where the guy sends a girl 100 dozen roses and fills their house...only, we had cookies! No worries, we didn't eat them all. We made deliveries to several people!

Making a snowman (or two):
It was perfect conditions to build a snowman, so I dragged Phil out to make one with me. Frosty is what we named him! He was really big. Just about as tall as me, and each part of his body was heavy enough that both of us had to lift it. The best part was that it was Phil's first snowman ever! How crazy is that?! Unfortunately, some punk dudes knocked Frosty down when we went to find him some eyes and a mouth. I wouldn't let that be the end of Frosty though, so I patched him together, and made Frosty 2. He was knocked down too, but I like to think that he still lives in us. (Oh Boy....)

Reading in Baldwin:
Each day is a different adventure when it comes to lunch. I never know who I will be eating with or if I will be eating by myself. But you know, one of the best lunches I had this past week was when I was eating alone in Baldwin. I had brought my book for leisure reading and just enjoyed the down time. My friend came and joined me once he got off work, but the time I had before he came was so nice. I had fun!

I guess what I've realized this week is that fun times come in all shapes, sizes, and forms/ways.

Valentines is quickly approaching so everybody is making plans to have a fun time with that someone special. I'm not gonna lie when I say that this time of the year is one of the hardest for me because I see everybody else with a special someone and realize that I am still alone when it comes to the relationship department. It's hard not to get caught up in the idea that you can only have fun with Valentines Day (February) if you have a significant other, but I have learned otherwise...or been reminded otherwise.

And just one quick note on the whole relationship department. Every girl dreams of finding their prince...the guy who can make them smile, laugh, feel safe, and feel like a princess while just being in their company. Maybe I haven't found my prince, but I have definately found a prince. Am I twitterpated? You better believe it. Is he the one for me in Gods plan? I have no idea. But here's the thing...I really want to do the right thing regarding this. I am tired of living my own plan and doing what I think is right when it comes to guys. Because of that, I pray each night that if this twitterpation is not supposed to be, that He helps me in taking my feelings away. I realize that it won't happen instantaneously but that it will be a process, but I can't do it if I don't ask God for help and listen to what He is trying to tell me. So that's where I stand. If these feelings that I have aren't supposed to be...then so be it. There will be a very lucky girl out there who will be made to feel like his princess. Do I hope that my plan is inline with God's plan and my feeling are supposed to be directed to this guy...sure do. I would be one of the happeist girls, but I will be more happy knowing that I listened to God if it's not.

Anywho,
I'm at college to learn and prepare myself for the "real world" but I am a true advocate for having as much fun as possible while doing that. I hope that amongst your busy schedule, you too will be able to find the time to relax, smile big, and laugh hard!

Man Alive!

2005-01-30T02:04:00.000-05:00

You know...this always happens, I write this really thoughtful entry and then I lose it before I can post it! Argh! I had all these thoughts on love which is always interesting, but now, well, now I'm way too tired. Man alive. I guess re-writing it will be one of my study breaks tomorrow. I guess I can make my time usefull by climbing into bed now.
G'night all.

Some of Us Stop at Nothing...

2005-01-23T16:27:00.000-05:00

This weekend we were supposed to go to our friend's house, but I didn't go (along with one other person). The weather wasn't promising and I guess I didn't feel like it was a good idea. I was bummed, but it turned out to be a good weekend...a nice finish and beginning to a week.

This past week was a good one. It definitely had it's highs, but it also had it's lows. Which one out-weighed the other? I'm not sure. I realized a lot of things through Summit (our spiritual emphasis week) and was encouraged by several people. God may give you hard situations and times where you just want to give up, but He never lets you go through them alone and that's very cool of Him.

But I know you want to hear about all the fun and crazy time that have happened. First of all, if you haven't read the entry entitled, "Save the Whales!!" I suggest that you do that before reading further. It explains a lot and gives you a good idea of how odd and bazaar my fun times have been. Have you ever had those moments/extended moments/days where you are just off the wall...laughing no matter what happens and just enjoying the simple silly things in life? Well, I definitely experienced that on friday night. It was crazy! My colleague (refer to "Save the Whales!!"), extra special/crazy friend and I were definitely living it up. It was great!

We then ventured to Ivanhoe's. For those of you who don't know what that is...it's a restaurant known for its 100 different sundae's and shakes. Amazing. Did we need more sugar...no way! The ride there and back was great. If my colleague and I looked at each other, we would laugh. Those in the front seat (sorry david.) were a little frightened. They could not understand what we were laughing at. We told them the truth...we told them that we were laughing and nothing and weren't doing anything...we weren't lieing! That's the best part!

Saturday was a very productive day but then it was time to have fun. My extra special/crazy friend and I decided to curl her hair. It was very beautiful She looked like a whole different person....enter Sarah. We snazzed the old friend up and she became a new friend named Sarah! We then headed over to Hodson so that our friend could meet my friend Sarah. It was awesome. He wasn't quite sure what to think...neither did we (what were we thinking?!)

Unfortunately, we didn't get to build a snowman that night. And we didn't make it sledding, but we hope to do both of those activities in the near future. I've already said that on our next Wal-Mart trip, I'm going to buy a sled!

Today has also been very productive, but not without it's fun moments. I learned that I can fly! That's right. You see, the pants that I am wearing today have pockets that have a tendancy to stick out no matter what I do. (gotta love draw-string pants). The sticking out reminds me of wings; wings allow things to fly; I can fly. I tried this theory out my climbing the ladder of my extra special/crazy friends (and colleague's) bed. I jumped off and flew! Granted, it was for a very short time...but my air time got longer each time I tried. Boy Howdy. What a rush!

Well, I'm sure more memorable times will happen before the day is over...afterall, the night is young and the New England Partiots still have to play the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Championship game at 6:30. I can't wait! It's gonna be a good game. Who do you think is going to win? Me, I think NE is going to take it. They're my team and I'm not one to back down from my team or a challenge. So to all you Pittsburgh fans, bring it.

Have an awesome week and I hope you all have "happily ever after endings." (we also watched Skrek 2 this weekend...)

Save the Whales!!!

2005-01-23T15:52:00.000-05:00

As we speak, there is probably at least one whale that is struggling to stay alive for various reasons. Maybe he was attacked or maybe he is out of the water and gasping for air/water. No matter what the case may be, I feel like it is our duty to save the whales. What about the sharks, you say? Well, no offense to sharks, but I feel as if whales should be our priority at this time.

You may be asking how you can help. If you're like me, you don't have the money to save a whale and you don't have the time to become an animal activists. I understand where you are coming from. Because of this, my fellow colleague and I have come up with a simple plan to save the whales. It's quite easy and can be done wherever you are. All you need to do is stop flushing your toilets or flush them less often. Also, drinking less water may be of some help...or at least stop taking water that you are not going to drink.

I know you must be wondering what kind of person I am. But before you jump to any conclusions, let me explain myself. When you flush your toilet, you are using water...water that could be used to save a whale. Water that the whales live in. The same thing goes for drinking water...why waste something that could be used to better a whales life?

Feel free to take part in this movement to save the whales. No signing up or fee is necessary. Just be wise when flushing. Remember, "Flusing Kills Whales."

Also, for those of you who are more concerned with everyday animals that roam around our yards and give us a smile whener we see them scurrying up a tree, we have created a movement to save squirrels. Our moto: Save a Squirrel and Wear Your Seatbelt.

Again, I feel as if an explanation is needed. Once again, my colleague and I were on one of our adventurers when I couldn't get my seatbelt on. I wanted to ensure the safety of myself, but thought that there must be a larger, more broad reason for wearing a seatbelt. We came up with this:

Say you're driving down the road and you see a squirrel running out in front of you. The squirrel, of course, is terrified of this big machine coming at them and can't decide which way to run. As the driver in the car, you don't want to hit the squirrel for whatever reason. But you have two choices: hit the squirrel or swerve and miss it.

If you chose to hit the squirrel it was probably because you weren't wearing your seatbelt and didn't think that it was wise of you to swerve and miss it. You were putting your own safety ahead of the squirrel's and I'm not going to lie when I say that I would have done the same thing. However, if you were wearing your seatbelt, you would have been able to swerve and miss the squirrel because you would have been safe in your car. The seatbelt would have protected you which would in return, protect the squirrel. You see, it's a domino effect.

Again, there is no need to be an animal activist to take part in this movement. It's simply everyday things that can save animals at the same time. Please help us.

Stop flushing and wear your seatbelt!

***This is not an actual movement, it is simply an inside joke(s) that my friend and I have. I always say, it's not what you do, but who you do it with! So live your life to the fullest, have fun, and be safe. If you save a whale or squirrel while you're at, more power to ya. ***

15 Children and a Mumu

2005-01-19T18:23:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have those days where you get really down on yourself and just want to give up on certain areas in your life? Last night was definitely one of those night for me. I had just gotten done talking with one of my friends...he was pretty discouraged about the whole relationship thing and was pretty frustrated/confused. I don't understand why God puts a passion in our heart for certain people if it's not in His plan to have them be together or have returning feelings. I do trust God, but sometimes I want to ask Him what He is doing!

So I came back to the room and thought a lot. (I had just spent an hour talking to a philosophy major!) When I was rambling off to my girls, I came to this conclusion: If worse comes to worse, I could always go up to Canada (seeing as the border is like 40 minutes from my house), marry a 45 year old Canadian Frenchman, have 15 children, become fat and wear a mumu for the rest of my life. (mumu: a shapeless "dress")

But I know God doesn't want that for me and boy howdy, I sure don't want that. And you know what slapped me back into reality? A smile. So simple, I know, but so powerful. I saw it and everything was better. I wasn't discouraged anymore, in fact, I was encouraged that maybe people are happy to see me just like I'm happy to see them. It made my day.

So I finish with this:
Keep smiling because you never know who may be falling in love with it.

Patriots: On their way!

2005-01-17T09:43:00.000-05:00

Well, they've done it again! The Patriots have made their way into the semi-finals and have beaten the Colts. You know, I'm not gonna lie, I would not have been too upset if the Colts had beaten the Patriots because they are like my second home team. I can appreciate all the hard work that the Colts have put into this season and it's sad their season end with such a bad game. But at the same time, I received so much crap from people about how the Colts were going to beat my Patriots and just rude remarks pertaining to the fact that I am a Patriots fan. So in that way, I'm really glad that the Patriots won and not just by a little!

I was all into the game last night. I've never done this before, but I even turned the radio to an a.m. station so I could listen to the game until I was able to watch it on a tv. It was actually kinda fun...I felt like I was living back in the day! Of course, watching the game was a lot better. Surrounded by Colts fans and even a person who didn't know too much about the game of football. We had fun.

So Sunday, 6:30, Pittsburgh vs. New England. (My family is from Pittsburgh so you know who they'll be routing for!) Who will win? I honestly do not know. But I'm anxious to find out.

Will eating 6 bananas at a time really kill you?

2005-01-15T16:25:00.000-05:00

There are always those times where you forget about all your worries and all the work that you need to get done, and you just kick back and have fun. Last night was definitely one of those night for me and some friends. We got together and had such a blast. We played an intriguing game of Turbo Cranium which was much fun. Who knew that you could learn so much from a board game. For example, do you know what the flames are called in a fire? If you know, that's awesome. If not, I'll tell you. The flames in a fire are called Tendralls. I think that's how you spell it. And do you know that there is a type of past that has eggs, bacon and parmesan cheese on it? It's true!

Once the game was over, we talked and talked, talked some more, and then we talked even more! What about? Only the most random things. It ranged from talking about scary movies and what scares us in general to reciting different Mother Goose Rhymes. We also talked about different places and countries that don't have knives! Priests getting drunk, church rituals, and whether or not eating 6 bananas at a time will kill you due to a potassium overload!

Just so you all know...I researched it and the only way that you could have a potassium overload is if you injected it into your system. But you can never get too much potassium from food...so if you feel a need/urge to eat 6 bananas at once, go ahead, although I wouldn't suggest it!

It's always hard to portray the amount of fun that you had. All that I have are memories that I can share with you and there are far too many awesome memories from last night that I can't put a finger on them to share with you. Spending quality time with some amazing people was so much fun and something that I can't wait to do again! Seeing people's faces light up when something funny was said, or a joke was made, or somebody looked really funny when they tried to act out "flying by the seat of your pant", or even listening to a guy hum various songs in hopes that his team would guess "Someday my prince will come" create pictures in my mind that act as a slideshow. One after the other, they all flash in my head and make me smile knowing that God has given me great people in my live who I can have crazy fun times with! I really don't know what else to say about that.

Today has been productive, but I think the best part has been sitting in my room and just talking with my excellent roomie about our future and all of our dreams that come with it. Where we're going to live, vacations that we're going to take with our families and each other (us 5 girls and our families), who we might be with (I know you think about that too!) and how happy we are going to be! It might seem like we're big dreamers who have expectations far beyond what might actually become, but why not dream big? We all deserve to live a life full of happiness! Our future is something that we look forward to, what can I say? Maybe we're hopeless romantics or just regular college girls....either way, we had fun and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

I hope your weekend has been just as fun as mine and that the rest of your weekend brings you big smiles and many memories to hold dear to your heart!

Right Back At It

2005-01-13T11:26:00.000-05:00

It's been a long while since I've written anything so of course there has been a lot of stuff that I could talk about. No worries, though. I'll save the book and just write a brief summary!

The last week of break was so much fun. The last week is always the best because everybody realizes that they still need to get together with people, so they stop procrastinating and contact old friends. I was able to round up my old high school group of friends. I was a little nervous about seeing everyone because people change when they go away to school, and sometimes that change isn't always a good thing. But when we met up, I was relieved to find that we were still our same old cooky selves! We had a lot of fun and a lot of laughes! Goodness....we are such a mixed up group of friends....we are all so different but when we get together, all the differences compliment each other....I don't know. It was just so great getting to see them all and reconnect. I'm already excited to do it again come summer!

I also got to go skiing multiple times. With my family, Jake, and my dad. Going skiing with Jake was a lot of fun. It was the first time we had ever hung out together, so it was a nice way to get to know him. I always love getting together with people like Jake (especially from home) because it reminds me that there are good guys out there who are waiting for that special girl. I'm surrounded by a lot of them here at school, but back in VT, that type of guy is pretty rare! So it was refreshing to talk with Jake and just have fun.

My dad took me skiing my last day at home. That was a lot of fun. My dad and I don't have too much in common, so when we spend time together....just the two of us...it's extra special. At any rate...he did very well. The conditions weren't too grand. When there was good snow, it was really good and fast. But when the conditions were bad, they were really bad! I took him down this trail to get to the Quad (name of a lift) and the trail was all ice! It was a difficult trail already so the ice, uneven-ness and grass poking out in spots was not needed. But he got down without falling! It was awesome. I also got my dad to go down a black diamond. It was actually easier than some of the blue square (more difficult) trails! It was funny, though, because at one point on the trail, it kinda just drops off and you can't see the hill anymore. My dad stopped before going down that part, but he did well. I'm really thankful that I have the dad that I do. We may not always get along and I'm sure I don't tell him enough, but I love him so much. I am going to feel so honored when we take that special walk down the isle because no matter what happens, I will always be his little girl.

So that is the most exciting stuff that happened at home. It's very nice to be back and able to see everybody again. The beginning of the semester is the best because everyone is excited to hook up with friends and because classes have only been in session a couple of days, people actually have the time to hang out! I love it! I've had some really fun times already and I haven't even been back for a week. I have a good feeling that this semester is going to hold a lot of good moment. It's very exciting. So before you get all bogged down with work, take advantage of these next couple of day and reconnect with eachother! It makes for good days!

Second Questioned

2004-12-29T23:45:00.000-05:00

Do you ever go through those phases where you just get down on yourself because of something somebody has said? That happened to me today. I talked to a person who I needed to talk to for a long time because I wasn't ready to let our friendship end on such bad terms. The conversation went surprisingly well. That is, of course, until I stopped beating around the bush. Things then went crashing down on me.

People are always saying that life is too short, so enjoy it and make the most of it. The thing is, I rarely see people acting on that. Why do we let ourselves get so caught up in the little mistakes that people make and forget about all the good things that the person does. Why do we let ourselves go to bed at night when we know that there is somebody who we need to fix things with. Why do we continue to hold grudges about things that we do ourselves. If life really is too short, why don't we start living a life that we aren't going to regret.

And another thing. While I was talking to my friend, everything sounded to hypocritical and judgmental. I'm not saying that I am perfect because I know that I judge people way too much. I'm just wondering why. It may make me feel better and more worthy for a short second, but as soon as that second is up, I feel horrible about it.

Today I was told that I am a bad friend. Maybe I am, but I like to think that I'm just a person who has faults just like anybody else. But being told that really made me think. There are things that I can work on, but I don't want to just become a better friend, I want to become a better person. There is no way that I am going to do that on my own...only with God by my side am I going to be able to grow. I have lost my footsteps with Him lately. I've slacked on my quiet times and haven't stopped to talk to Him as much as I should be.

I feel a void when I'm not in line with God. And you know what the funny thing is....the time that I haven't been doing my quiet times is relatively short when compared to a lifetime. So how can people go their whole life without knowing Jesus Christ as their personal Savior? It boggles my mind. There are so many lost people....we need to start being the disciples that God has called us to be. Yet another, more important, thing to work on this year.

Maybe what we all need is an opportunity to just stop, step back from our busy schedules, and look at how we're living out lives from a different view. Just a little thought.

I Feel Like Santa

2004-12-26T22:17:00.000-05:00

Ho Ho Ho...Merry Christmas.

That didn't work. I don't think my voice is deep enough. That's too bad, because it I had a deeper voice and facial hair, I'm pretty sure I could be passed up as Santa! I sure feel like him.
Not really because of the giving of gifts, but because of the mass quantity of food that I have indulged in! Cookies, crackers, cheese, chips, chocolate covered pretzels, shrimp, ham, rolls, green bean casserole, punch, etc. The list goes on. And of course there are tons of left overs! So it's really inevitable that I'm going to eat. The fun thing is, I'm not worrying about it. I'm going to enjoy the holiday festivities even if that means that eating large quanities of food is involved. I'll work it off when I get to school. I might as well enjoy it while I'm young! Right?

Plus, did you know that the average person gains 10 pounds during the Christmas/New Years holiday? It's true. So I'm doing great considering that I haven't even reached the average yet! Awesomeness! haha.

I hope everyone's Christmas went well. Christmas here was very nice. I felt like a little girl...it was great. I fell asleep while watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reigndeer on Christmas Eve and then woke up and went up to bed. I went to bed with no snow on the ground. I got up at 7:15 and couldn't fall back sleep because I was so excited, but once I heard people rustling throughout the house, I hopped out of bed and looked out my window. It had snowed!!! I was so very excited. We had a white Christmas just like it should be! Anyway, I got clean and went downstairs and we opened our presents. I got Turbo Cranium which is a lot of fun....we played it that night with our company that we had over for Christmas dinner. So I had a lot of fun....it was a very nice Christmas spend at home.

Other than that...nothing new here. It snowed some more today and I just got an alert that we will be getting some heavy snow tonight (we have a winter snow advisory in effect until 7am tom). You know what that means...fresh powder to ski on...and I might be going skiing tom, so I'm very excited.

Have a good start to your week y'all. It is a good day.

Happy Christmas Eve!

2004-12-24T11:35:00.000-05:00

First I would like to wish you an early Merry Christmas! It really is my favorite time of the year! I worked until 11pm last night and then came home and wrapped Christmas presents until 3am while listening to Christmas music. Believe it or not, it was a lot of fun. I was happy to finish, though. Unfortunately, I have to back out into the stores today to pick up a few more things for my mom...dad's request. Plus, I need to get my dog a new toy!

I am finally starting to see people! I'm really excited about that. And it's neat because they want to hang out more than once...pretty cool. So I've planned a few days with some people...I was asked to go to my friend's dad's Christmas party tomorrow. I guess a lot of his family is going to be there....I think it'd be a lot of fun to go to, but I don't want it to be an awkward situation. I was flattered that he asked me to go with him though...we'll see what I do.

My big exciting get together is going to happen in about 1.5 week! I am going skiing with Jake and John! John and I are hanging out a couple of times...he's my bud. But I'm very excited about hanging out with Jake. I work with these guys and Jake has always been the guy that all the girls swoon over. I believe I swooned once but then thought about what I was doing. I figured he didn't want all those girls to oogle over him so I figured that I should just get a grip and be his friend. That was a few years ago...there's still no denying that he is a very good looking young man and he is very very nice and he's a republican! (which is a big thing in Vermont!) I always thought it'd be fun to get together with him and now I get to do it! He's a beginner skiier....I thought he was really advanced and woulnd't want to go with us because of that...but he's really looking forward to it. I love getting together with people who I've never hung out with before. It's the whole broadening my horizon thing! Very exciting!

Finally, before I attempt the lines of crazy stores, I would like to thank Cheese for all of his comments. It doesn't want my rant may be or what's on my mind, you always have a way of making me understnad better and not fret so much. You put things in perspective and make me feel not alone. I always love reading what you have to say...your insight is much appreciated. So thank you.

And also...for the person who doesn't like to wait more than a day for a new entry (you know who you are!), I'll do my best...it's Christmas so I've decided to slow down and disconnect myself from the internet that I depend so much on. Spending quality time with people rather than a screen....it's nice. But I will do my best to get one up every-other day... :)

Ok y'all!
Have a Very Merry Christmas!
And be sure to remember the real reason for the season!

***I just remembered something...tonight/today is Christmas Eve which means there is a Christmas Eve service...that's one of my favorite times/events during Christmas! Yay! I'm very excited now! (Just a fun little side note.)

Huh.

2004-12-22T17:51:00.000-05:00

Isn't if funny how I can have lots of stuff to write about while I'm at school, but not a whole lot to write about when I'm home. It makes blogging that much harder! But there is new information that I learn, so I thought I'd fill ya in....

A lot of my blogs have to do about relationships or the lack there of. Why? Well, probably because I am surrounded by couples while I'm at school. Everywhere I turn it seems that there is always a couple looking all happy and content. It's also probably because my school is one that evolves around getting married! My dad asked some other people is their kid's school was into the whole marriage thing...they said no. It must be an IWU thing...or maybe a Christian College thing...it doesn't really matter, because at my school, it's the thing. So while I'm looking forward to going back to school, I'm also dreading it because I know 1/2 the people are going to be engaged!

Ok, well, I thought that by coming home, my mind might be able to be taken off the whole relationship topic. Afterall, I won't have to watch happy couples, I won't be around my twitterpation factor, and none of my friends here are involved in a relationship.....or so i thought.....

It turns out that one of my good friends has gotten involved with a significant other! He has a girlfriend! So my few friends that I would hang out with are slowly deteriorating even more! I am so happy for him, though. She sounds like a good girl and that's exactly what my friend deserves! I actually get to meet her tonight!

Also, I went with my dad to go find a piece of jewelery for my mom. So we went into our neighbors jewelery store and looked at stuff.....he got her a ring. go figure. I of course looked at engagement rings because they were there to look at. So pretty. I talked to my dad about the whole engagement thing, and he made it better....he lightened the whole subject up.

Finally, I'm a sap. I was watching A Wedding Story today before I went to work. The couple was so happy. Oh my goodness, if only I could explain what I saw between them. They weren't supermodels, but ordinary people who loved each other so very much. On their wedding day, the wife-to-be was getting ready and told the camera that she was ready to see her man and that it hasn't even been 12 hrs since the last time she saw him but it feels like years and years. She got all choked up. And when they showed the guy, he got all choked up too. It was perfect. Guys...I cried. I was both happy for them and wanting something like what they had.

Ok, jsut let me make myself clear. I do not want to get married anytime soon! I have at least 2.5 years before that could ever happen! Preferably a little longer so we can both get our careers underway and are able to survive financially! So for the guys who are reading this...don't be frightened! Haha.

Alright, well, I will be sure to write more when I have a different thought. But for now....
Have a Happy Holiday!

And I'm Back! (Home, that is)

2004-12-19T17:09:00.000-05:00

Now that I have been home for a few days, I forgot what a relaxing setting home really was. In fact, because I'm not running around like i had been the past few weeks, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't have too many friends who I can call up and ask if they want to hang out...in fact, I have even fewer for this vacation because some of them have come back with significant others. Boy Howdy! What is this world coming to?! (I'm very happy for them!)

I have gotten most of my Christmas shopping done, though! It's been a lot of fun shopping for my mom. I find that mom's are the easiest person in the family to buy presents for! I'm actually doing a little project...inspired by my "roomie's" boyfriend. I'm making her a blanket filled with pictures of my brother and I. I thought that it would be one of those thoughtful gifts that she would cherish forever. It's turning out nice. I'm actually in the process of printing off all the picture now! Then all I need to do is iron them! It's very exciting!

OK, so because I flew home for break, I of course need to fill you in on my airport drama. Flying out of Fort Wayne, my plane was broken again and I did have about 1.5 hr delay. So I got home a few hours later....3:40 instead of 12. Oh well. I could deal with that.

While I was waiting to board for my Detroit flight to Burlington, I was talking to my mom on the phone when I saw that an old friend of mine who I hadn't talked to in forever was calling me on the other line. So I said goodbye to my mom and answered the other line. He told me to stand up. I asked why...it seemed a little odd. But then he told me to turn 180 degrees...and you know what? He was standing right around the corner! I was very excited, stood up, hung up the phone, and went to give him a big hug. We talked for a bit...it was a little stranger...we went from being really awesome friends to not knowing what to say to each other. Oh well..it happens. Once we boarded, that was the end of our conversations. He sat a few seats back and I sat with a guy who spends months at a time working in Korea. Pretty cool, huh? It made for good conversation.

The plane arrived safely in Burlington. But when I went to the luggage claim my luggage wasn't there. That's right. They lost it! Argh. I wanted to cry. For the past several flights I had justed wanted no mistakes or problems...and this time...they lose my luggage. I was tired (running on 3.5 hrs of sleep) and just wanted to go home, take a nap, and put on some P.J's.

I needed a toothbrush that night, so at 10pm, my mom and I went out. I had called the airline about my luggage but they basically told me that they hadn't found it. We decided to go and check outselves! Sure enough...it was there! It was a little annoying that they didn't call and let me know, but I was so relieved that I didn't care!

That's been my time at home so far. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just relaxing before I go back to work! I hope everyone is having a nice vacation. Sooner or later I am going to write everybody a personalized email. Won't that be nice? Hehe...

One more thing...
Cheese....
Thank you for your words of insight. They always mean a lot to me. What you said in the last entry made me smile! So thank you.

And with that, I leave you with something that a very good friend always says to me...

"Keep smiling because you never know who may be falling in love with it."

Thoughts in an airport

2004-12-18T01:22:00.000-05:00

Ya know, it’s amazing how many single people you see walking around the airport. There are a lot of business men who make up for that…I mean, I don’t know that they don’t have families, but from what I see…they’re at least single in the airport. But the single business men aren’t what catch my eye. It’s all the single middle aged women who walk around. Why do I even care? Well, it’s simple….

I ate at Chilis Too today while I waited for my departure time to arrive (ever so slowly). Sitting next to me and in front of me were two single women. And you know what else? They both ordered salads. So did I! When I looked at them, I saw me. Single. Working. And eating salad.

Coincidence? Maybe. Probably.

I know that God has an amazing future all planned out got me and I really need to trust Him more and give Him a little more credit. After all, He is God! I understand that, I really do, but I know that we all wonder what God’s plan for us actually is and I guess that is just what I am doing right now…thinking about the different life-plans that God may have for me.

Let’s flashback to when I was much younger. It’s the same time of year (Christmas season) at a gas station on my way to my Grandma’s house for Christmas…..

My family and I were in the car pulling away from the gas pump. At this point, we still lived in NY so it was only 7 hours to Pittsburgh instead of the 12 that it is now. We were talking about stuffed animals because my mom had asked to see my new one that I probably got for my birthday. This is where my dad said something that I still remember. He said “When are we gonna start having a boyfriend over for Christmas? I wonder how soon that will be. Then he can buy you all your stuffed animals!”

I was so young at the time that I didn’t even realize the concept of having a boyfriend, but ever since then, I have had this great anticipation to bring a special someone home for Christmas. To have him not only spend Christmas with my immediate family, but to go to Pittsburgh with us and have him spend Christmas with my extended family as well. Boy Howdy, that would be quite the adventure, having him meet my three uncles (from my dad’s side of the family) They are definitely ready for me to bring a guy to them for their approval……

So right now, I am on my way home for Christmas. I see all these single women and I can’t help but think that maybe that will be me someday. It’s not that I don’t think anybody will every like me, because I know that they will (I say that in the most humble way as possible), but it’s just a matter of finding that someone special. That one person who can’t live without you and who you can’t live without!

You know what the funny thing is….Now that we’re in college and marriage isn’t all that hard to fathom, when we like somebody we tend to assume that that person is “the one” for us! Only, I find that when that happens, the other person doesn’t seem to feel the same way which is crucial when it comes to find “the one.” So they can’t be “the one.”

I’m not sure what I’m saying anymore.

One more thing. Do you ever notice that when you’re twitterpated about someone, the twitterpation lasts a long time? I have like the same person for the whole year. Nothing has advanced. There has been no event that has made me think that some will happen. And I don’t even know if he would even consider me to be something more. But has that prevented me from liking him? Not in the least bit.

I went through that stage where is he smiled at me I got all bright-eyed and couldn’t focus for the rest of the night, but whenever I see him now, I feel this sense of peace. Don’t get me wrong, when he smiles I still get all bright-eyed and can’t help but have a better day because of it, but it’s more of a….oh, I don’t know. It’s not just a high school crush. The person behind all that material stuff, the man of God that I see him being…those things have caught my attention and no matter what the circumstance, I am still always into this one guy.

Again, not sure what I’m saying anymore.

My point is, I would love to be extra special to this guy. To be the girl who he can’t live without. To be the girl who he longs to get to know more and more. To be the girl who he has fun with and wants to hang out with just because he knows he’ll enjoy it. To be the girl who can take him home for Christmas to meet the family. Man, that would be so awesome. But here’s the kicker….as much as I would love all of this to happen, if it’s not in God’s plan for me, well, I’m Ok with that. If there is a guy out there who is even more amazing than my current twitterpation….wow. As of right now, I can’t imagine that there is, but if I’m wrong, I can’t argue with it. I mean, God knows what He’s doing; God’s a smart one. I know he’s got pretty cool things planned for my life.

So what can you draw from this entry? I’m not really sure. This is me. These are my thoughts. I hope that it makes us stop and think about whether or not we have been trusting God in the relational part of our lives….I always think that that is the hardest part to trust Him in…..but we’re not taking a chance in trusting Him. As frustrating as it may be to us right now, I know that we will get over it when God gives us just a glimpse of the bigger future ahead.

If we continue to trust in Him….
….He will not let us down.

Holiday Hugs

2004-12-16T01:31:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to you all! We have made it through the first set of finals for this year! It was crazy and hectic and wild and made me feel like I was running in continuous circles, but you know what? I'm not sure I woud have it any other way!

I made a lot of accomplishments these past two weeks. I always love finishing a prject/paper and then doing well on an exam after studying for hours upon hours because I really feel like I have done something productive. Of course all of you know what I mean because you have just went through the same thing. Two things...well, ok, two fun things that have been accomplished in this past week is 1) WC News aired for the first time on Tuesday! To see our very first show air and just know that I was a part in making it....it's a pretty cool feeling. 2) I made a DVD with my movies from this semester. I had to make two copies because one didn't have something that I had wanted, but it works. With two of them, i am able to show people what they want to see. Improvement will come...

This is an entry where I really have nothing to say and I am so worn out that I don't even have something that is nothing to go on and on about.

Oh, I will say one thing. I love leaving for vacations on the day that the dorms officially close because I have so much fun with people on the night before. Before I went home for Thanksgiving, a group of us got together and played Cranium. Tonight, a group of us got together and played Cranium! It's just so nice to be on campus with friends after everything is finished. Having absolutely nothing to do (besides pack) is a rarity here, so I really like to take advantage of it. And yea...I would have to say that it is one of my favorite times...good quality time with friends (that I won't see for a month!!!)

Well, I need to get up in 3.5 hours for another adventuroud trip in the airport of Ft. Wayne, Detroit, and finally Burlington (my destination!) So have a great vacation to all of you....

.....keep me posted on what is going on in your life....if you know my name then you know my email.....no excuses. I will write to you guys as well. I will also keep the blogging coming as regurally as I can....just for those who check it every hour when there's nothing else to do!

For those of you I didn't give a Holiday Hug (also a goodbye Hug) to, consider this a big bear hug!
For those of you who I did give a Holiday Hug (also a goodbye Hug) to, well, you get two!

***Holiday BEAR HUG***

Sleep a lot.
Rest a lot.
Don't eat a lot.
Socialize a lot.
Pray a lot.
Give a lot.
Write a lot.
Miss you a lot...

Thank you for this moment...

2004-12-12T20:19:00.000-05:00

ya know...there have been a lot of emotions flying around this weekend. It's made for quite an eventful weekend, but it has made be stop and look at things. There are times when we get so caught up with the business of our own schedules that we don't even realize what is happening in each other's lives.

I know that we ask each other how we are doing. We eat dinner together. IM people. Call each other. Get a drink. Yeah yeah yeah....but do we really sit down and ask a person how they are doing? Do we really sit down and want to hear what has been going on in their life? You know, the good and the bad.

In my small group of friends, there have been good times and bad times this weekend. Relationships have ended, but relationships have also began. Frustration and dissapointment has occured, but excitement and anticipation has also happened.

We each had our own story and you know what was neat? We all got together to support and listen to each other. It's the weekend before exams so we should be hitting the books big time, but we didn't let that stop us from doing our job as a friend.

I don't know where I am going with this, all I know is that I am so thankful for all the little moments that this weekend has given me. Right now is a really stressful time where we are going to need each other to get through all the pressures and stress. I know that all of you who are reading this are great people and you have a lot of compassion in you....don't lose that just because of exams. Stay strong. Do well. But at the same time, have fun with each other and take the time to sit down and talk to somebody...about each other.

Maybe this is just me....I'm not gonna lie....I'm gonna miss everybody over break. I'm happy to be going home for a while, but I really wish that I could just take you guys with me! There are so many people who mean the world to me....let's talk over break. I want to know all the little things that happen during your week(s). They may not be very exciting, but i want to know it all.

Ok, well, enough is enough....
back to the books....
we're almost done....
study breaks are good!

Twitterpation!

2004-12-11T14:32:00.000-05:00

I just want to say how excited I am for my very good friend! She was asked today if she would like to hang out tomorrow by a new special someone! It's to nice to see her twitterpated and get a response back without her having to dig for it. The guy is actually persuing her because he wants to! So I am just so excited for her.....

......feel free to wake me up anytime with good news (you know who you are).....

So for those of you who are girls and just wish that the man who you're twitterpated with would return that twitterpation feeling, don't lose hope. He may be dropping you hints without your even knowing! They're all a little different. Plus, there's no rush, really! If he's the right one for you then he will be there in a couple days, weeks, months, and years(?).

At any rate, just wanted to express my happy excitedness! I feel like I am almost more excited that her (my friend)! But I think she has me beat.

Well, study hard.
Note: I'm open to study breaks....

I Made a Porn Video...

2004-12-11T01:48:00.000-05:00

Doesn't that sound so bad? I made a porn movie. Well, I did. However, it was for a class and turned out really well. I think it's one of my favorite productions so far! We went to Indy and interviewed people on the streets about it...it's really fun. You should see it! But hear me out....we made it so that people would/could be aware of the danger that pornography has. It's so sad to read the statistics and realize that there are so many lost people in this world. My eyes were opened and I hope that others will be, too, when they see this movie.

Well, it is officially the weekend! I made it through this week...alive. Barely, but I did make it! A lot of work was done...I don't think I've ever been so stressed and determined to get stuff done. I was running here adn there, to and fro. Craziness. I feel like I havent' seen anybody or even had a chance to chat online. It's a shame seeing as I don't see anybody for a whole month in about 5 days.

Side note....does anybody want to take me to the airport on Thursday morning?

So last night I had to write my investigative story for journalism. I was doing a report on the safety in Marion and had been talking with a detective from the Marion Police Department, which was cool...but he hooked me up with all the police reports for this year. I felt like a real reporter. I did have to go to the station to pick them up, though. Boy Howdy....that was an adventure.

Tony was a nice guy and was willing to take me, but neither of us knew where it was! We just knew that we were supposed to stay on Washington St. After driving around and not finding it, I made Tony cut accross 2 lanes of traffic so we could ask for directions at the gas station. The man was very nice...he even drew us a picture/map. So I hopped back in the car and told Tony where to go.

I thought that we had found it...so we parked the car. But we realized that we were at a jail! I mean, we could see guys in the cells looking out at us. I'm not gonna lie...it was pretty scary. Fortunately, Tony walked in with me, but as we were walking to the door with the tall building hovering over us and creating a smaller sidewalk as we got closer to the door, a bird started to screech above us! I mean, we could hear it's echo above the building! I was so glad Tony was right there or else I probably would have started in a mad dash to the door! It was like we were in a scary movie!

Once we were inside, the only door open was the jail house, so we had to go in. Turns out, we were at the wrong place...go figure. So we got more directions and headed back out...walkign quickly to the car and not looking up at the guys in the windows.

After parking in the wrong parking lot which was filled with police cars, and almost driving in the wrong direction on a one-way street next to the right building, we finally found the door to enter the police station! Good thing it wasn't an emergency!

We walked in, and long behold...there were the reports! It was like a gigantic book. So awesome. I was amused. Just ask Tony.

It felt good to hand that paper in. I think it was one of my better papers that I have written this semester, so I'm pretty excited.

Tonight was a relaxing night....I needed to get away from all the work. So after I finished editing the Porn video, I put the books away. The Christmas Extravaganza was really nice...I almost want to go again tomorrow night! And then us girls had some quality girl-talk. We definitely have some new twitterpation happening!!! Very exciting! And then Tony came up with Sophia....his dog! She is the cutest thing ever! So we played with her until open house was over and then we got ready to watch a movie...The Princess Bride...it's a classic. But we're tired so we didn't finish it.

I wrote an entry today, but it didn't post, and I was in the mood to write so I figured I would write something up quick.

Oh, bad news of the day:
My SN is blocked so I have been disconnected from the world! It's not even that I am always talking to people, but it's habbit to see who's on and just check every now and then if anybody has IM'd me. I feel a little lost and left out without it. I'm hoping that it will start workign again...Em's did, so I have hope. But until then, write me emails or comments, or boy howdy, you could even call (if you're on campus, you have no excuse!)

Ok, well, I should go to bed. It's 2 am and sadly, this is the earliest I will have gotten to bed in the past few days. At any rate...have a great weekend...

...dreaming sweetly...

Let's Have a Snowball Fight!

2004-12-08T01:13:00.000-05:00

Tonight was very productive! I really did get a lot done, but I also had a lot of fun! I love those nights where we are all busy, but we take the time to chat, talk, joke, and laugh at the small things. It really is grand!

The thing that started all of the uproar tonight was a simple snowball fight! Only a select few know what that really entails...but for the others...just know that it caused a lot of laughs and a lot of jokes during the rest of the night! Good times (great oldies!)

Tomorow is Wednesday! That's always a good thing.

So, do you ever want to do something, but don't get up and do it. That has been a reoccuring thing for me lately. Working out has been the big one, though. I really want to get up in the morning and start running, but I just can't get out of bed! And it's so stupid, because for the past few days, I would be wide awake when my alarm went off at 7:30, but because I saw 7:30, I just went to bed because I could. Argh! Why? I'm so much more energized, happy, and confident when I work out. it makes for good days for me and those around me. So if anybody wants to assist me in this...I would appreciate it. If you're up at 7:30, give me a call! Ha....

What else?
Not sure.
I just felt like writing.
I've been in a typing mood all night!
I should probably get to bed, though.

Oh, Cheese:
I have an idea of who you might be. So maybe you could say something that would hint to who you are...like the game...Guess Who. It'd be fun....

Alright all...
Goodnite.
Don't let the bed bugs bite...
But if they do, grab a shoe, and beat 'em 'till they're black and blue!

Hummingbird vs. Grasshopper

2004-12-07T13:33:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday was my 20th birthday! I always loved the time of the year that my birthday fell, but since I've been at college, it always seems like the worst time of the year. The stress starts building, nobody has time to stop and relax, and everybody starts to get on any everyone's nerves! But despite all of these things, my birthday was greatly enjoyed and accepted! I had a lot of fun. Thank you girls (Becca, Em, Dani, and Kim) for making my birthday all that it was. I appreciated it so much! You girls are awesome!

Now, I feel that I need to reflect on the recent acivity that my blog has received. My last entry, "Moooo. Am I a cow?" seemed to get quite a lot of feedback.

For whoever Mr. Cunch is, thanks for responding. I do put my thoughts out there for others to read, and as a result, I am setting myself up for comments such as yours. However, this is my Blog and therefore, my thoughts are the content. I'm sorry if you don't like what I have so say, but that's the great thing about Blogs...nobody makes you read them! So if you don't like it, don't read it. And because this is my Blog, filled with my thoughts, I would ask that if you want to make a comment...watch the language. The least you can do is respect that.

Tony, David, and Cheese....
Thank you. It meant a lot that you guys took the time to not only encourage me and my other fellow Carmin girls, but to have a little indirect chat with Crunch. It's nice to know that there are people out there who are trying to right the wrongs of society and rescue those damsels in distress (nice job FPBD!)

And one other thing....
Cheese. Who are you? How is a girl supposed to thank the person who had a part in "rescuing" her when she doesn' even know who it was? In dealing with your comment, I think us Carmin girls are more like Hummingbids! There is no denying that at times, we definitely have the sponenuity of a grasshopper, but all-in-all, I think a hummingbird is a better picture. (Maybe the hummingbird is like the female version of a grasshopper and vice-versa!) At any rate...thanks.

Well, for now, that's all I have...

Moooo....am i a cow?

2004-12-03T13:11:00.000-05:00

Last night our unit gathered together to vote on a design for our unit shirts. There were a lot of good ideas but the vote ended in a tie between a design that associated with the theme of our unit and a design that condoned this school's idea that Carmin Hall girls are just a bunch of cows.

On the front of the shirt, the cow design says, "A dorm full of love has elastic walls...and CARMIN'S HUGE!!" The back of the shirt says, " 'You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord, your God, who has worked wonders for you; NEVER AGAIN WILL MY PEOPLE BE SHAMED! -Joel 2:26"

On/in Carmin 3 South, they made shirts that talked about Carmin having a brother dorm which is Baldwin (that's our caffeteria) and on the back of the shirt it says "Open House hours:" and then it lists the hours that Baldwin is open for dining.

Are you kidding me? Are we really going to bring ourselves down to this level where we start joining in with the crowd to make fun of us and calling ourselves Cows??? I'm sorry, but I think that this joke has gone too far, and trust me...I can take a joke. (There is no Paul!!!) I'm not gonna lie, I make jokes amongst my girls about us being cows, but never do I talk about it outside of them.

It's very sad to tell somebody (aka a guy) where you live and then have them write you off because of it. When a girl in my hall told a guy that she lived in Carmin, he wouldn't walk her back to her dorm at night! What is that??? Reed is considered the Nunery, but nobody walks around campus telling them that they are never going to get married and they certainly aren't wearing Nunery robes inlight of what people say about them. And Evans is know as the slutty hall, but nobody walks around campus calling them derogatory names or constantly making remarks about them being easy or anything because everybody knows that they are just kidding. But when people CONSTANTLY make smart remarks refering to Carmin, or create quotes and articles about Carmin girls ordering pizza, or just shun them because they think that they are so much better than Carmin girls...grow up. Get over it. We are just as good as anybody else.

We are beautiful inside and out. We're talented, funny, creative, and have amazing character. So why doesn't everybody get over it and start acting like we're in college and not on a farm.

Ummm...

2004-12-01T16:24:00.000-05:00

Ummm....well, where to start? I have a lot of randomness in me right now. So I guess I'll just go wherever my fingers take me....

Pink!
Yes, Pink.
Becca has brought to my attention some important insights on the color Pink. Just because girls wear pink does not mean that they are "girly-girls." Some may be, but not all. Also Guys + Pink = very attractive (in most cases). I personally love when guys wear pink. Not necessarily a full blown pink shirt, but maybe a shirt with hints of pink. Just a little somethin-something to spice things up. So guys...no worries, I won't think any less of you if you have a little pink on you (only more!) Finally...Pink is so much fun to wear! I love wearing pink! And the best part is that I got new sneakers that have pink in them! They're just so so much fun! Alright...enough of the Pink nonsense.

Encouragement!
I was pretty encouraged in TV Production today. Joel told me that he thought I had talent (in editing and all that jazz) and I have always looked up to Joel for his abilities, so it meant a lot that he said he enjoyed looking at my stuff. And if any of you want some fine cheese...let me know...I'll take you to watch my music video. It has a lot of work to be done to it still, but it's fun.

Santa/Frosty!
Last night in cluster group, I had the girls make snowmen clothespin/magnet snowmen. We made 28 of them, wrapped them in Christmas paper, and then sent them to random people on campus. Everybody likes getting mail and likes it even more when it's something a little more than just a piece of paper stapled in half! We didn't put out names on it, but rather just a short little greeting that said, "May your days be merry and bright. And may all your Christmases be white." I'm excited to have some surprised people on campus when they get these snowmen in their mailboxes. I'm even more excited to maybe have had a hand in cheering somebody up when they needed a smile.

It's Incredible(s)!
Tomorrow night is a big night for me. Not only is it the first day of our shooting for the News Station....WC News (which I have officially been named a co-producer while having my own segement) but Becca, David, Brian and I are going to see The Incredibles. (No, it's not a double date scenario.) I can't say too much about it because David and/or Brian may be reading this....but just know that it is going to be a big, fun, important, life-changing night! More to come after the fact....

Done.
Enough of the blabbering/blubbering/babbling. You've read enough. Onward and outward...

It's Alright, It's Alright, It's Alright. God Works in Mysterious Ways...

2004-11-29T17:56:00.000-05:00

Welcome back everyone! I hope your Thanksgiving was very enjoyable. I know mine was! My family and I spent a lot of time together. We played board games, went to the movie theater and saw National Treasure (very good movie...you should see it.), celebrated my birthday, put up Christmas decorations...it was all fun.

I also got to get together with a couple of friends which was nice. In doing so, I was able to see The Incredibles (also a very good movie...you should see it.) Who knew I would be so into the cartoon thing? Ha.

But the real adventure happens in the airports.
On my way home, I was stuck in the Fort Wayne airport because the plane was broken. So I didn't get home until 4 when I was supposed to get home at 12. I could deal with that though....

On the way back to school, I was supposed to fly out of Burlington at 9am and arrive in Fort Wayne at 1pm. However, once again, my plane broke down (this time in Burlington) so I didn't take off until 1:20. I was supposed to be done with my whole trip by then! Oh well.

So I got to Detroit (Boy, do I know that airport or what!) and had to wait another couple of hours. But it was Ok because I needed to find a ride from Ft. Wayne back to school seeing as my original ride fell through due to all the delays. So I called and called and when I thought that Becca was going to have to drive way out of her way to pick me up, she got online and long behold, Brian was on! So I got his phone number, called him up, and worked it out so that he would be able to pick me up on his way to school. It was going to work perfectly...

5:30 came and it was time to board the plane. We all piled into the flying machine and buckled up. It was nice because I was seated next to this guy who is a college student (I had sat next to older men every other time...) so we actually started to talk. It turns out, he is a communication major interested in the video/audio part of it. He's from the east and goes to school in Ft. Wayne. After we had covered all the basics, the flight attendant got on the intercom and told us that there was nobody to fly the plane! That's right. The pilot and co-pilot weren't there and weren't going to be there until 6:30ish, which means that we wouldn't take off until 7/7:15 ish. No, I'm not kidding. Needless to say, they made us get off the plane.

Fez (my new-found plane-without-a-pilot seat buddy/friend) and I talked and hung out for the 1.5 hrs that we had to wait. It's amazing how much you can learn about somebody. So after much talking and some watching of the New England-Baltimore game, it was finally time to board. Thankfully, after much taxi-ing, we took off and made it to Ft. Wayne around 8:30.

Brian was there waiting for me (Thanks so much Brian.) We grabbed my bag, went out to the car, paid $2 for parking and were on our way back to school. It was nice to be around company that I knew. It was much fun. I really do think that you can have some of the best/most fun conversations while traveling. You somehow talk about everything and anything. Good times...

I (we) arrived back at school around 9:30 to end the adventure.
It was a very long day but you know what? I don't think I would have changed it. Yes, it was a pain, but look on the bright side....
a) I made a new friend.
b) I learned patience
c) I got to travel back with Brian.

What more could a girl ask for?

*the song of the day was "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. God works in mysterious ways..."

Boy Howdy, I'm Not Gonna Lie....

2004-11-22T14:17:00.000-05:00

It's true. I can honestly say that last night I had one of the best nights I've had this year! I had no work to do, so the night was wide open for fun. After dinner, I tried to find somebody to play ping-pong with, but it kept falling through until I asked Brian. We planned to play ping-pong at 8:30ish which worked for me! (I made an angel for the top of our Christmas Tree in our room while I waited)

So 8:30 came and we played ping-pong!
It was a blast!
I had so much fun!
He won every game except for the last one, but it was still a blast!
Faces were being made!
Bad hits were happening!
Good returns were hit!
Diving!
Rolling!
Jumping!
Spinning!
Craziness!

Ok, so maybe the diving, rolling, jumping, and spinning didn't really happen, but it was still so much fun. I could have played all night.

So remember....
It's not what you do, but who you do it with!

The Summer Haunting....

2004-11-21T13:27:00.000-05:00

Quick History:
This past summer, I went to help out for the pre-Grand Opening of the grocery store that I work for at home. The new store was in a town about 1.5 hrs away from my home, so it was quite a haul. But on one of the days that I was there, I met these two guys who seemed to be pretty cool. They were Christians and actually lived in a town next to me and were just helping out at this store for the day. What are the chances?

So I hung out with them and their group of friends quite a lot over the summer. Their friends became my friends and vice versa. It was a great time. Well, one of the guys, Ian, and I developed feelings for each other....but I was coming back to school in a bit and didn't really want to have a long distance relationship. Plus, I didn't really know him...I had just met him! And also, as much fun as I had with him, I knew that Ian was not the person I was supposed to spend my life with. However, he did what all girls love, and told me all the right stuff, wrote me letters and poems and came over to just hang out with the family. No....nothing physical happened, but I did develop a care and concern for him. He wasn't very motivated in his life, wasn't going to school, and just needed to believe in himself more....at that point, he was a 21yr old guy who was going nowhere in his life.

I came to school and we talked a lot. It was nice to still have that friend back home who I could call and just talk about nothing with. (Real friends are very scarce at home) But it got to the point where I couldn't watch him throw his life away anymore, so I encouraged him to apply to school and live out his dreams. He didn't like that very much. As a result, he told me some things that hurt me real bad. I knew that they weren't true because I knew myself better than he did, but at that point in time, I believed him because I had trusted him.

We went through this time where we couldn't talk without their being any tension and one night, it got real bad. You see, I had kept "walls" up so that I would still be able to protect my heart and save those special things for my future husband....Ian did not like that and told me that because I kept those walls up (from him), that I would never fall in love and love somebody. He also said that my standards were too high and that I expect too much from people. I have an anger problem, according to Ian, and I have no compassion. I couldn't listen to him anymore so I told him that I was going to hangup but to have a nice night. He was stuck on keeping me on the phone so I ended up hanging up on him while he was in the middle of a sentence that was telling me to shutup and to not hang up.

That night, he left a message on my phone which was more harrassment and tearing me down. I'm not gonna lie....it hurt a lot. After all the letters and poems that he wrote about all the good stuff in our relationship, I couldn't understand how somebody could say these mean things. Ian ended his message by telling me that he could care-a-less if he never spoke to me again.

(I guess this isn't short, afterall. sorry about that.)

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Ian and how he's doing. Just as a friend, mind you. Over Thanksgiving break the plan was to get together with Jorel (his friend) and Morgan (his other friend) because I still talk to them and it'd be fun to hang out. But in the event that Ian joins us, I would want to have spoken to him before hand just to let him know that I'm not mad at him and that I still think about him and wonder how he's doing. That's what friends do and I really did/do consider him my friend.

So I called him today. Maybe that was a mistake, I don't know. But basically, the conversations went like this:
Ian: Hello.
Me: Hello.
Ian: Who's this?
Me: Is this Ian?
Ian: Yes.
Me: This is Bethany.
Ian: Oh.
Me: How are you doing?
Ian: Good.
Me: Are you busy? (It was pretty noisy in the background...)
Ian: Yeah, kinda. I'm at church [chuckle] (I don't think he was at church...)
Me: Well, Ok, Um...I will talk to you later then.
Ian: Ok.
Me: Bye.

He had an attitude in his voice like he didn't remember me or something. You know, one of those attitudes where you just want to tell the person to get over it. Oh well. Dani said that he had his chance and that I did all I could do. Which is true. I just wish that things wouldn't have to be so fickle between people. In my case with Ian...Ian wanted more than I could give him and because of that, didn't want a friendship at all.

So did I do the wrong thing or was it ok? I don't know. I wish things could be different but I just need to trust that things will work out and pray that Ian will listen to God because I might be wrong in my thinking, but God has it all right.

It Is Finished.

2004-11-20T17:15:00.000-05:00

It is finished. The Purity Retreat was a success. I was a little skeptical going into because I wasn't sure if I was up to spending the weekend with Jr. High girls, but my attitude was quickly changed once they started to arrive. Dani and I hosted three girls....Ariel, Kim, and Courtney and they were so much fun. Quiet at first, but unable to get silent once they got a little more comfortable!

It was amazing getting to know the girls. I love to see how relationships develope....especially between girls of different ages. And this retreat was definitely a time to bond with the girls. I mean, it's hard for girls to be honest and open up when talking about sexual purity when they don't even know each other. So that was really neat.

I won't go on and on with all the little stories and things that I saw, but I will say that just from the short time that we were able to spend with these girls, I have grown to care for them. I'm so excited to hang out with them again and they are so excited to come back and hang out (maybe have another girlie sleepover deal!) with us!

It was clear that God worked through this Purity Retreat and put His hand upon it. My girls have a "young passion" for Christ and I would just pray that they keep God close to them and continue to further their relationship with Him. It would be awesome to see them stand firm in their beliefs and just give God their whole heart and to stay pure!

More to come on other events later......

Did I Miss a Season?

2004-11-17T13:09:00.000-05:00

It's everywhere and I don't know why. It's winter, not spring! So why do I seem surrounded by twitterpation? That isn't supposed to happen now, but rather when the trees get their news leaves and the flowers begin to bloom. What is going on?
Last night, I was confronted by a few people to talk about relationship stuff. Granted, I really enjoyed it. There was a mix between good and bad news. I love hearing about the awesome developments that are made between two people, especially when it's a bunch of little things that make the change. It makes me so happy to see someone's face light up when they talk about that specific someone. The funny thing is, sometimes I feel like a mom who is watching their kid grow up. My friend, Phil, is so awesome. I met him while registering our freshman year when everybody else was moving in. His parents were a riot, but the one thing that I remember to this day is that Phil's mom asked me to watch out for him....and I have. So last night when he was telling me about his twitterpation, I was so happy for him. (I can't wait to go card shopping, Phil.)
So yeah, a part of me definitely doesn't know what's going on because it's not spring, making it the twitterpation "off- season" but I am also thrilled to be confused because that means that there are happy people around....
On a completely different note....
Who am I living for?
This question stuck with me yesterday. It was one of those things where I was washing my face and a line from a song just stuck to me, so of course, I had to sit down and listen to the whole song to see what it was saying. The song was called "My Desire" by Jeremy Camp and the line that stuck out to me said, "This is my desire to be used by you." Now, on most occasions, I'm not one to put lyrics in an entry, but I really think that the words are important so I'm going to make an exception. This is what the song says:

You want to be real. You want to be empty inside. You want to be someone laying down your pride. You want to be someone someday. Then lay it all down before the King. You want to be whole. You want to have purpose inside. You want to have virtue and purify your mind. You want to be set free today then lay it all down before the King. This is my desire. This is my return. This is my desire to be used by you. You want to be real. You want to be emptied inside. And I know my heart is to feel you near. And I know my life, it's to do Your will. It's to do Your will. All my life I have seen where You've taken me. Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen. There's not much I can do to repay all You've done so I give my hands to use.

So I listened to this song and it really made me think about who I was living for. I mean, I want to live for God and do what He has planned for me, but sometimes it's just to hard to really know His will for my life. I'm sure you can relate.
Well, then I was watching Jeremy Camp's testimony (It was a Jeremy Camp days...) and it really touched me. He shared his struggles through life and his spiritual walk with God, but the part that stuck out to me was when he shared how his wife died right after their honeymoon from cancer. It had come back and spread and unfortunately, they could not stop it this time. So he prayed and prayed that God would heal her, but his plan was different than God's. God wanted her to be with Him in Heaven and took her away. But here's the thing....when she died, Jeremy Camp stood up in the hospital room and started to worship God. How cool is that? His wife just died and he worshiped God. He trusted God and put all of his faith in him.
So, again, I ask myself...
Who am I living for?
If Jeremy Camp can stand up and worship God and just devote his whole life to Him, then there is no reason why I can't do the same. Yeah, I am going to be busy and feel like there is nothing else that can go wrong, but that is still no excuse. I'm here to live out God's plan for my life and I think that it's time that I stick with that, even when I don't want to or feel worn out.
When people ask me who I'm living for, I want to be able to say that I am living for God and say it will all the confidence in me.

I'm Already Lost!

2004-11-16T18:46:00.000-05:00

So....
I'm lost.
I can't figure this out.
I've tried.
It's not working.

If you know how to spiff this up by putting pictures and profile stuff on the side bar, can you let me know? School is still my number 1 priority so I can't spend all night tying to figure this thing out....man.

I'd appreciate it.

Let's Get This Party Started!

2004-11-16T17:06:00.000-05:00

Well, I told myself that I would never create a blog for several reasons, but it looks like I have broken down and decided to participate in the newsest trend. We'll see how it goes...I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited!
So my name...Bambi-Girl. Amazingly enough, a lot of thought was put into it. You think I'm a little odd right now, and that's Ok...you're probably right in your thinking. But let me explain. If you look at the classic Disney movie, Bambie, you can really gain a lot from it. I mean, yeah, there's the obvious lesson about accepting others who are different than you (I am thankful for that one...), but when a deeper look is taken, so much more can be seen.
When Bambie is growing up, he learns how to say new words. One of those words is "bird." Now, under certain circimstances, I can't go into the whole "bird thing," but just know that the way of a word looks does not always determine the meaning. I mean...when you say "bird," what you're hearing are the three letters "B," "R," and "D" combined. I know there are some of you who understand....
The best part about Bambie is at the very end when all the animals get Twitterpated! I alwas use that term to describe falling in love, having special feelings, having a crush, and of course just to sum up all those butterflies that fly around in your stomach when you see that special someone! Needless to say, it's a very special word to me
All this to say that Bambie-Girl is my name. A little "little girlish," but I like it!
So let this mark the beginning of my "Batting My Eyes at the world". Afterall, we are not only here to be world changers (hehe), but to experience new things, enjoy all the amazing people that surround us, be stunned with the beauty of nature, and astound people with our character and who God has so carefully created us to be.